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What is this blog about?
This blog is where I post a mix of media reviews (primarily television, books/comics, films, and video games), personal updates, and my own writings. In essence, it is a fandom blog with a splash of personal blog tossed in as well. Common topics are my opinions on stories/storytelling, aromanticism, asexuality, and updates on various hobbies and projects of mine. Friendly/civil discussion and comments are always welcome, and I am open to being sent questions both on specific posts and through private messaging. This is a SFW, spoiler-centric blog. Tags are mostly self-explanatory, though some tags like 'writing woes' and 'language woes' are actually just my general tag for posts about my writing or language learning experiences. For other policies, see my profile.
Who runs this blog?
I'm Autumn (Who's Aria? Aria is also me, I just don't go by that name as often in conversation), an aroace storytelling enthusiast. I'm in my 20s and have loved reading and writing for pretty much my whole life. I'm an avid fan of speculative fiction in particular, and grew up loving television/film and video games alongside books. I love story analysis, both of the mechanical elements and the more emotive elements (I'm very big on character arcs and interpretations in particular), though my own reviews tend to be some mix between proper analysis and just rambling out my thoughts. How often I post varies greatly, but usually you can expect something at least once a month; though during events or if I am watching/reading more than usual there may be a notable increase in content production for a time.
Some of my other prominent interests include learning languages, music, drawing my OCs, sociology, and cooking/baking. Most of these I haven't pursued quite to the extent I would like to, but they are nonetheless things I enjoy or find interesting. Most of my art posting happens on Pillowfort, but I may eventually share some here if I start drawing a lot more. Otherwise, the nature of the blog probably won't change much, so feel free to drop in any time and chat. I might take a little while to respond, but as a rule I do try to get back to anyone who comments on my stuff.
Where else can this blogger be found?
Tumblr
Pillowfort
Archive of Our Own
Fanfiction.net
Twitter
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Mini Terminology Rant
I've seen a few times now in aro and aplatonic circles the argument that 'platonic is not synonymous with nonromantic/nonsexual, and people who use it that way are wrong and harmful'. Now, I am very much on the aplatonic spectrum. But I just can't agree with this statement wholesale, even if I understand and sympathize with the feelings that drive it.
So, the actual dictionary definition of platonic varies but the two I found right away online is 'an affectionate relationship that is non-sexual' (very slightly paraphrased) and "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (exact quote), excluding the definitions that are specifically about Plato and more general philosophy. But as people often point out, what matters more than a dictionary definition is how the word is actually used culturally.
But in most of my experience, at least, nearly everyone I've met outside of the a-spec communities do use the term that way. Most people outside of a-spec communities, for example, if asked if familial relations were platonic, will give you a 'uh I mean I sure hope so o_O' since the only literal alternative in their minds is incest; while in the a-spec community, it's a complicated discussion with different takes because the a-spec community fundamentally uses the word completely differently than most other people.
And, to be clear, I don't think this is fundamentally a bad thing. The word has evolved to have more meanings and be of better to use to more people, that is fine! And obviously I don't think it's wrong for plato-repulsed folks to want people to use nonromantic or nonsexual in regard to any relationships involving them instead of platonic - if a term makes you uncomfortable and doesn't work for you, it should be discarded on the individual level.
But other people using it, in general, in the dictionary-defined way isn't an attack or inherently wrong either, they're just using one of now multiple meanings for the word.
So, the actual dictionary definition of platonic varies but the two I found right away online is 'an affectionate relationship that is non-sexual' (very slightly paraphrased) and "of, relating to, or being a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex" (exact quote), excluding the definitions that are specifically about Plato and more general philosophy. But as people often point out, what matters more than a dictionary definition is how the word is actually used culturally.
But in most of my experience, at least, nearly everyone I've met outside of the a-spec communities do use the term that way. Most people outside of a-spec communities, for example, if asked if familial relations were platonic, will give you a 'uh I mean I sure hope so o_O' since the only literal alternative in their minds is incest; while in the a-spec community, it's a complicated discussion with different takes because the a-spec community fundamentally uses the word completely differently than most other people.
And, to be clear, I don't think this is fundamentally a bad thing. The word has evolved to have more meanings and be of better to use to more people, that is fine! And obviously I don't think it's wrong for plato-repulsed folks to want people to use nonromantic or nonsexual in regard to any relationships involving them instead of platonic - if a term makes you uncomfortable and doesn't work for you, it should be discarded on the individual level.
But other people using it, in general, in the dictionary-defined way isn't an attack or inherently wrong either, they're just using one of now multiple meanings for the word.
Why does this nag at me enough to write a post about it? Because I really wish the word having multiple, contradictory meanings would be accepted enough that it became more of a norm to clarify in a discussion which definition you're using. And the reason I care about THAT enough to write about it is, I honestly would have realized I was aplatonic so much faster if people were up front about what they actually meant and that the a-spec communities were largely operating with a different definition of it than most everyone else.
When I was first really getting into the aro communities, I saw a lot of posts about how platonic feelings could be as strong and important as romantic and sexual ones. Since I completely thought they meant platonic as in the entire spectrum of feeling and lack of it outside of romance, I agreed easily and didn't question it. I DID find the entire concept of platonic attraction and squishes to be confusing the more I learned about them, though. Because to me, all my relationships were 'platonic' and I did not at all think platonic was any kind of specific feeling, since I often didn't 'feel' anything in particular for people I knew. I accepted of course that people were experiencing platonic attraction and queerplatonic attraction even if I didn't get it, but it didn't occur to me some of the confusion was coming from starting with a different foundation/context for the whole conversation.
Likewise, (though this is also in part due to just how little info there was about aplatonicism at the time) when I first saw posts about people being aplatonic, I genuinely thought it meant 'someone who can only feel dislike or romantic feelings for someone' and I was like 'I know I gotta support everyone's identities but I do think a person like that would be rather stressful for me to be around' lkljklsdjfsid. IT WASN'T EVEN CLEAR TO ME IT WAS AN IDENTITY MOST COMMON AMONG ARO-SPECS. Or that it was an identity an aro-spec could have, since they seemed opposed by definition to me. But even once a lot of misunderstandings had been cleared up on that front, I still didn't think I was apl-spec because I still...considered all of my low-feeling relationships 'platonic' as an important distinction from being romantic, especially in irl contexts where platonic and romantic were typically the only options.
Eventually obviously I learned a lot more about the experiences of apl-spec people and plato-experiencing people and saw more open conversations about defining terms and realized I was, in fact, on the aplatonic spectrum. But a great deal of questioning and doubting and feeling confused could have been spared if folks had been upfront about the fact that when they said platonic feelings, they largely meant ACTUAL SPECIFIC FEELINGS that don't include indifference.
So...yes, platonic relationships can be sexual. Platonic relationships can overlap with romantic ones, or the distinction can blur. It's completely reasonable for some apl-specs, especially ones in the often overly-plato-obsessed greater aro community, to want their non-romantic and/or non-sexual relationships to NOT be called platonic. But platonic, contextually, still can and often does mean simply 'not romantic/sexual', and people aren't like...out to get you or woefully ignorant if they use it that way for themselves or in broad conversations about society. The word just has multiple, contradictory definitions now and that's fine.
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Granada Holmes "The Naval Treaty" Mini Analysis
Having recently been reconsumed by my old Sherlock Holmes obsession, I have been enjoying rewatching (and in a few cases, watching for the first time) the 1984 television adaptation of the story, typically referred to as 'Granada Holmes'. The third episode of the series, "The Naval Treaty", is a good episode in general. But one curiosity about it is that Holmes spends most of the episode seeming quietly Bothered by something, and it is also this episode that gives us the infamous Rose Speech - right in the middle of a client interview, which is entirely odd behavior for Holmes and seemingly spurred on by...nothing in particular. The episode itself offers no direct answer to these things, so, with my last rewatch, I made a point to keep my analysis goggles on and see if I could come up with a possible solution.
The case itself doesn't have anything about it that would obviously agitate our titular detective (there are other episodes where that's the case, and it's a lot more out in the open) - it's just a mystery revolving around how some government papers got stolen in an unusual way and trying to find where they could have gone. But there are two other points in the episode that I believe to be the culprit of The Moods:
Now, one of the interesting things about Granada Canon, is that despite mostly trying to be as faithful to the original stories as possible, they chose to entirely write out Watson marrying, and significantly rearranged the order of the cases. The result of this is that in many of the stories where Watson, in the books, is visiting or returning from time spent with his wife, instead sees him coming back from working at his medical practice or simply a vacation. I could be wrong, but in the books I don't think Watson having a practice ever overlapped with him living with Holmes, so in Granada we get to see a little bit of what that dynamic looks like.
And in this episode, I think we see that it is a matter of some tension and insecurity, at least on Holmes' part. And I think it's because, for Holmes, the cases are his career, his passion. His professional title is Consulting Detective. And also notably, it's a job he invented, not one general society tends to understand or take seriously until they see how he works and how well he does get results. Watson, on the other hand, is a practicing medical doctor - a traditionally respected position and something that frankly should be a full time job. He never takes on any kind of title in relation to the work he does with Holmes, even though he works nearly every case with him. Holmes refers to Watson sometimes as his biographer since Watson always writes up their cases, but I can't recall at present anyways a time where Watson referred to himself as such (the closest you get is that Holmes always introduces Watson as a 'colleague', which Watson does call himself once as well, which is fairly ambiguous).
And while Holmes obviously cares about the work a lot on its own merit, he makes it clear many times in the show that having Watson accompany him makes a significant difference to him, and he clearly prefers it. This is only episode 3 of the series, but in episode 1 we had him insisting Watson join him for the case and telling his client adamantly that he'd work with both of them or neither of them, and in the second episode, we see Holmes low-key mentoring Watson in the craft of deduction; and now we see him being incredibly moody at the fact that Watson has another profession. So, I think he fears that Watson sees the cases as just a fun hobby, and isn't nearly as passionate about them (or about working together) as he is, since functionally there's not a 'reason' for him to work on the cases other than just Wanting To.
This case's client being an old friend of Watson's I think sort of passively exacerbates this insecurity. For a decent chunk of the time they know each other, Holmes considers Watson his only friend. And while Watson doesn't seem to have many close friends either, he nevertheless is the more social of the two and does have old contacts he's still fond of, and I think for Holmes it was just another reminder that Watson could, from his perspective, easily have a normal, respectable life without him at all. And for all that Holmes carries himself with great confidence, there often seems to be an underlying anxiety when it comes to his requests that Watson accompany him, so I think he worries Watson will lose interest in him eventually and want a more 'normal' life (which, there's even more evidence of that in the books, but I think in the show it's definitely still there).
In general, I feel like there's a lot to say about how Holmes and Watson sort of juggle the merging of their professional and personal lives together in Granada especially, but that would probably turn into a whole other essay. xD Case in point, though, I believe that was at the root of Holmes' moodiness this episode. And it would explain why it stays so understated unlike other times things bother him; there really wasn't anything actionable he could about it, it was just this persistent anxiety/melancholy. Because in the episode, Watson is working the case with him, he is being attentive, and Holmes doesn't have any real personal issues with Watson's other friend. So, Holmes keeps it mostly to himself, as much as I would have loved a more direct follow up on it at some point.
(The Rose Speech, placement wise then, I think was that since the interview with the client had mostly come to a close, there wasn't any other immediate distraction, and so in his more emotional mood, he fixated on the rose and philosophy. There's probably more analysis to be drawn from the exact content of his speech in the context of the episode, but that also would be a whole other essay. xD Maybe a little bit of a reach, but it's sort of neat also though that he'd specifically go to a flower while feeling insecure about his friendship with Watson, since Granada Canon especially emphasizes that Holmes generally dislikes nature/the countryside while Watson is a fan. In the book as well Watson specifically mentions the little aside being odd since Holmes normally never showed interest in 'natural things'.)
The case itself doesn't have anything about it that would obviously agitate our titular detective (there are other episodes where that's the case, and it's a lot more out in the open) - it's just a mystery revolving around how some government papers got stolen in an unusual way and trying to find where they could have gone. But there are two other points in the episode that I believe to be the culprit of The Moods:
- This episode has Holmes mention twice Watson's medical practice as something that might prevent him from wanting to join him (Holmes) on cases. The first time is openly testy ("Oh, if your cases are more interesting than mine >:/"), while the second time is during a more quiet, melancholy moment. Watson had noticed Holmes being Bothered as well, and asked him if was alright. Holmes initially shrugged it off, but then made some comment about wanting Watson to come with him the next day to investigate if it won't keep him from his 'legitimate work'. There's some carry-over or call-back to the testy tone from earlier, but the actual mood has a lot less bite and is followed by a more earnest request.
- The client in this episode is specifically an old friend of Watson's (not sure when they became friends though lol since Watson says he bullied the guy at school, but they only seem to hold affection for each other at present)
Now, one of the interesting things about Granada Canon, is that despite mostly trying to be as faithful to the original stories as possible, they chose to entirely write out Watson marrying, and significantly rearranged the order of the cases. The result of this is that in many of the stories where Watson, in the books, is visiting or returning from time spent with his wife, instead sees him coming back from working at his medical practice or simply a vacation. I could be wrong, but in the books I don't think Watson having a practice ever overlapped with him living with Holmes, so in Granada we get to see a little bit of what that dynamic looks like.
And in this episode, I think we see that it is a matter of some tension and insecurity, at least on Holmes' part. And I think it's because, for Holmes, the cases are his career, his passion. His professional title is Consulting Detective. And also notably, it's a job he invented, not one general society tends to understand or take seriously until they see how he works and how well he does get results. Watson, on the other hand, is a practicing medical doctor - a traditionally respected position and something that frankly should be a full time job. He never takes on any kind of title in relation to the work he does with Holmes, even though he works nearly every case with him. Holmes refers to Watson sometimes as his biographer since Watson always writes up their cases, but I can't recall at present anyways a time where Watson referred to himself as such (the closest you get is that Holmes always introduces Watson as a 'colleague', which Watson does call himself once as well, which is fairly ambiguous).
And while Holmes obviously cares about the work a lot on its own merit, he makes it clear many times in the show that having Watson accompany him makes a significant difference to him, and he clearly prefers it. This is only episode 3 of the series, but in episode 1 we had him insisting Watson join him for the case and telling his client adamantly that he'd work with both of them or neither of them, and in the second episode, we see Holmes low-key mentoring Watson in the craft of deduction; and now we see him being incredibly moody at the fact that Watson has another profession. So, I think he fears that Watson sees the cases as just a fun hobby, and isn't nearly as passionate about them (or about working together) as he is, since functionally there's not a 'reason' for him to work on the cases other than just Wanting To.
This case's client being an old friend of Watson's I think sort of passively exacerbates this insecurity. For a decent chunk of the time they know each other, Holmes considers Watson his only friend. And while Watson doesn't seem to have many close friends either, he nevertheless is the more social of the two and does have old contacts he's still fond of, and I think for Holmes it was just another reminder that Watson could, from his perspective, easily have a normal, respectable life without him at all. And for all that Holmes carries himself with great confidence, there often seems to be an underlying anxiety when it comes to his requests that Watson accompany him, so I think he worries Watson will lose interest in him eventually and want a more 'normal' life (which, there's even more evidence of that in the books, but I think in the show it's definitely still there).
In general, I feel like there's a lot to say about how Holmes and Watson sort of juggle the merging of their professional and personal lives together in Granada especially, but that would probably turn into a whole other essay. xD Case in point, though, I believe that was at the root of Holmes' moodiness this episode. And it would explain why it stays so understated unlike other times things bother him; there really wasn't anything actionable he could about it, it was just this persistent anxiety/melancholy. Because in the episode, Watson is working the case with him, he is being attentive, and Holmes doesn't have any real personal issues with Watson's other friend. So, Holmes keeps it mostly to himself, as much as I would have loved a more direct follow up on it at some point.
(The Rose Speech, placement wise then, I think was that since the interview with the client had mostly come to a close, there wasn't any other immediate distraction, and so in his more emotional mood, he fixated on the rose and philosophy. There's probably more analysis to be drawn from the exact content of his speech in the context of the episode, but that also would be a whole other essay. xD Maybe a little bit of a reach, but it's sort of neat also though that he'd specifically go to a flower while feeling insecure about his friendship with Watson, since Granada Canon especially emphasizes that Holmes generally dislikes nature/the countryside while Watson is a fan. In the book as well Watson specifically mentions the little aside being odd since Holmes normally never showed interest in 'natural things'.)
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Carnival of Aros: Romance Coding and Romance Repulsion
This month's carnival is hosted by aro-but-not-ace on the subject 'Attitudes Towards Romance', which is certainly a subject I have given a lot of thought over the years! There are a few of the prompts I wanted to address in some manner or another, and some I'm sure will end up overlapping, so here we go.
A decent place to start seems to be, 'what do you consider romance-coded?'. This is an interesting question to consider, because I think the answer can fluctuate depending on context. I can't base the answer on 'what would I only do towards a romantic partner', since I have no interest in such a thing fundamentally and can't imagine it for lack of experience. So instead, I am approaching this question from the angle of, 'what actions would I interpret as romantic from someone else or in media, in part based on what would set off my romance repulsion' since that is often a deciding factor when it comes to more ambiguous things.
When it comes to real life, what actions I see as romantic depend largely on the relationship I already have with a person. For example, I know what actions are typically considered romantic - flowers, dinners, gifts, showing extra interest in spending time together. And if anyone I wasn't really close to and who wasn't aware of and accepting of my aromanticism initiated or offered to initiate anything like that, I would definitely assume they meant it romantically and feel very uncomfortable. With proper friends and close friends, I'd be increasingly less likely to think they had Romantic Expectations or Hopes for me, and would not consider going out to movies/dinners romantic or even gifts of flowers if I was really comfortable with the person (red roses would be awkward because of the connotations, same with red hearts, but other flowers and heart colors would make me feel like they put in the effort to remember my comfort zones and aro-ness and take the explicitly no-romo route, which always makes me happy xD).
A lot of other typically romantic-coded things are just...things I'm uncomfortable with, in general, like kissing and intimate cuddling. I wouldn't think it wrong for people to do/enjoy these things platonically, but it's true thanks to society if I see or hear about people doing that, I will assume they're at least probably together romantically, statistically speaking, unless I know the people involved enough (which, mostly I don't need/want those kinds of details from people I know well lol and I can't expect they'd offer it, but just hypothetically speaking).
When it comes to media, it's a bit tricky because often times any kind of meaningful interactions between characters is only there to build up to a romance, and certainly any kind of meaningful interaction is referred to as 'romance coding' or 'ship evidence' with the kind of attitude that implies (or even directly states) that there isn't any other 'correct' way to interpret it. So often when I'm watching or reading things, I will be wary of bonding scenes as potentially a Set Up.
That said, other times my aro lens are so firmly on that I completely fail to pick up a single romantic vibe no matter how much effort into coding the writers were putting (Bow and Glimmer in She-Ra? Completely platonic as far as I'm concerned. I also really never thought to ship Kurogane and Fai in Tsubasa at all until I saw others doing it, and the excess shipping kind of made me like them slightly less, even though I was obsessed with them and they were my faves. Good Omens I definitely didn't read as romantic either, since I thought what Aziraphale and Crowley had seemed potentially rather ideal, and I never feel that way about things that feel romantic to me; so the fandom insistence that it's homophobic to not see them as romantic obviously really ticks me off, also because it's just stupidly wrong in general). And just about any level of close friendship would read as purely that to me, probably only a kiss would make me realize/accept that's not what the writers wanted (and if that happened I'd probably be very put out or annoyed lol).
One thing that I definitely consider romance-coded though is...high passion levels with little substance? Like, if the characters haven't bonded in a normal friend way much but have Super Strong Feelings for each other, it kind of just feels like Romantic Attraction Shorthand Writing, and I don't enjoy it at all. It definitely can set off the romance repulsion. The more performative or transactional qualities of romance also tend to be more repulsive to me and make it feel like just a romance instead of a more meaningful friendship, so any writing that includes that I would definitely consider romance-coded for myself.
Another idea the prompts mentioned that I wanted to talk a little bit about was on how one's attitude towards romance (in this case, aversion+repulsion) specifically interacts with amatonormativity. Certainly, being averse to romance means the weight of amatonormativity is all the more obvious - partnering up is considered a milestone of adulthood, a thing to be celebrated and pursued above even other life things at times. But it's a cultural milestone I can't engage in at all. And logistically, since I'm also non-partnering, that does offer other concerns beyond just feelings of alienation. Most people consider their future partner to be the person they want to 'settle down' with - and rent prices definitely aren't suited to single people unless you're outright wealthy. So if I want to move out from my parent's home ever, my options are 'live with a sibling and possibly their partner should they end up with a long term one' and 'rotate platonic roommates every so often', which is stressful and requires I have or make a lot more acquaintances than I want to.
There's also the simple fact that romance is everywhere. In stories, fandom, as a frequent topic of small talk, it even influences laws and academics in a more subtle way. So it's very hard to really avoid feeling repulsed, awkward, annoyed, or disconnected from many activities and society at large. And being repulsed by people having romantic feelings for me - or reading my actions as romantic - adds an underlying layer of anxiety to pretty much all social interactions.
Finally, the prompts asked about how your attitude towards romance impacts your interactions in the aromantic community itself. In the circles I'm in, romance aversion to varying degrees seems to be the majority? Being non-partnering is more so what can make me feel like a minority within the community. People are generally pretty considerate about romance repulsion, and while there's the occasional post that minimizes or poorly frames romance repulsion or non-partnering in the process of lifting up romance favorable and partnering aros, it's not overwhelming. If anything, I feel I need to make the conscious effort to make sure to be more inclusive and considerate towards romance favorable aros, because even if my repulsion means I don't always want to hear about any flavor of romance, they're still fellow aros who get even less recognition than the rest of us. Being non-partnering though does often feel like it gets ignored or sidelined, and I would like to see changes in that regard.
A decent place to start seems to be, 'what do you consider romance-coded?'. This is an interesting question to consider, because I think the answer can fluctuate depending on context. I can't base the answer on 'what would I only do towards a romantic partner', since I have no interest in such a thing fundamentally and can't imagine it for lack of experience. So instead, I am approaching this question from the angle of, 'what actions would I interpret as romantic from someone else or in media, in part based on what would set off my romance repulsion' since that is often a deciding factor when it comes to more ambiguous things.
When it comes to real life, what actions I see as romantic depend largely on the relationship I already have with a person. For example, I know what actions are typically considered romantic - flowers, dinners, gifts, showing extra interest in spending time together. And if anyone I wasn't really close to and who wasn't aware of and accepting of my aromanticism initiated or offered to initiate anything like that, I would definitely assume they meant it romantically and feel very uncomfortable. With proper friends and close friends, I'd be increasingly less likely to think they had Romantic Expectations or Hopes for me, and would not consider going out to movies/dinners romantic or even gifts of flowers if I was really comfortable with the person (red roses would be awkward because of the connotations, same with red hearts, but other flowers and heart colors would make me feel like they put in the effort to remember my comfort zones and aro-ness and take the explicitly no-romo route, which always makes me happy xD).
A lot of other typically romantic-coded things are just...things I'm uncomfortable with, in general, like kissing and intimate cuddling. I wouldn't think it wrong for people to do/enjoy these things platonically, but it's true thanks to society if I see or hear about people doing that, I will assume they're at least probably together romantically, statistically speaking, unless I know the people involved enough (which, mostly I don't need/want those kinds of details from people I know well lol and I can't expect they'd offer it, but just hypothetically speaking).
When it comes to media, it's a bit tricky because often times any kind of meaningful interactions between characters is only there to build up to a romance, and certainly any kind of meaningful interaction is referred to as 'romance coding' or 'ship evidence' with the kind of attitude that implies (or even directly states) that there isn't any other 'correct' way to interpret it. So often when I'm watching or reading things, I will be wary of bonding scenes as potentially a Set Up.
That said, other times my aro lens are so firmly on that I completely fail to pick up a single romantic vibe no matter how much effort into coding the writers were putting (Bow and Glimmer in She-Ra? Completely platonic as far as I'm concerned. I also really never thought to ship Kurogane and Fai in Tsubasa at all until I saw others doing it, and the excess shipping kind of made me like them slightly less, even though I was obsessed with them and they were my faves. Good Omens I definitely didn't read as romantic either, since I thought what Aziraphale and Crowley had seemed potentially rather ideal, and I never feel that way about things that feel romantic to me; so the fandom insistence that it's homophobic to not see them as romantic obviously really ticks me off, also because it's just stupidly wrong in general). And just about any level of close friendship would read as purely that to me, probably only a kiss would make me realize/accept that's not what the writers wanted (and if that happened I'd probably be very put out or annoyed lol).
One thing that I definitely consider romance-coded though is...high passion levels with little substance? Like, if the characters haven't bonded in a normal friend way much but have Super Strong Feelings for each other, it kind of just feels like Romantic Attraction Shorthand Writing, and I don't enjoy it at all. It definitely can set off the romance repulsion. The more performative or transactional qualities of romance also tend to be more repulsive to me and make it feel like just a romance instead of a more meaningful friendship, so any writing that includes that I would definitely consider romance-coded for myself.
Another idea the prompts mentioned that I wanted to talk a little bit about was on how one's attitude towards romance (in this case, aversion+repulsion) specifically interacts with amatonormativity. Certainly, being averse to romance means the weight of amatonormativity is all the more obvious - partnering up is considered a milestone of adulthood, a thing to be celebrated and pursued above even other life things at times. But it's a cultural milestone I can't engage in at all. And logistically, since I'm also non-partnering, that does offer other concerns beyond just feelings of alienation. Most people consider their future partner to be the person they want to 'settle down' with - and rent prices definitely aren't suited to single people unless you're outright wealthy. So if I want to move out from my parent's home ever, my options are 'live with a sibling and possibly their partner should they end up with a long term one' and 'rotate platonic roommates every so often', which is stressful and requires I have or make a lot more acquaintances than I want to.
There's also the simple fact that romance is everywhere. In stories, fandom, as a frequent topic of small talk, it even influences laws and academics in a more subtle way. So it's very hard to really avoid feeling repulsed, awkward, annoyed, or disconnected from many activities and society at large. And being repulsed by people having romantic feelings for me - or reading my actions as romantic - adds an underlying layer of anxiety to pretty much all social interactions.
Finally, the prompts asked about how your attitude towards romance impacts your interactions in the aromantic community itself. In the circles I'm in, romance aversion to varying degrees seems to be the majority? Being non-partnering is more so what can make me feel like a minority within the community. People are generally pretty considerate about romance repulsion, and while there's the occasional post that minimizes or poorly frames romance repulsion or non-partnering in the process of lifting up romance favorable and partnering aros, it's not overwhelming. If anything, I feel I need to make the conscious effort to make sure to be more inclusive and considerate towards romance favorable aros, because even if my repulsion means I don't always want to hear about any flavor of romance, they're still fellow aros who get even less recognition than the rest of us. Being non-partnering though does often feel like it gets ignored or sidelined, and I would like to see changes in that regard.
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Observations and Opinions on 'Friendship'
This month's carnival of aros theme is 'Friendship'. I've had a lot of thoughts on the subject, in life and more recently in specific, so I'm going to answer a few of the prompts and possibly go off on some side-tangents.
The first prompt asks about how we define friendship - what does the word bring to mind, and if it differs from other people's definitions. For myself, I've always found the word 'friend' both very simple and very vague. Because it honestly covers a huge range of relationship styles, degrees of closeness, and personal investment. In certain regards, 'friend' can be used to imply only the most basic requirements for functional, semi-regular interactions: someone you reasonably like/treat well and are more familiar with than a stranger or distant acquaintance. 'Casual' friends are friends who usually only meet these requirements, and maybe the addition of occasionally interacting with them in a non-work setting. In this sense, it becomes rude to say someone you see semi-often and don't hate 'isn't your friend'. Amiable classmates and co-workers are also often called 'friends' by default, even if you aren't especially close.
This has sometimes been awkward for me, because I don't instinctively consider casual friends...'friends'. I'll refer to them as such because that's polite and less clunky sounding than always saying 'my acquaintance' or something, but inwardly there's always a feeling of doubt on if I actually want to commit to 'being friends' with them. Because the word 'friend' also applies to a range of closer friendships, which are generally lumped together under categories like 'close friend' or 'Real friend', and its those kinds of relationships I roughly think of first when I consider the term 'friend'. But even that's imperfect, because again - the sheer variety encompassed there. Is that person one you like mostly from familiarity and a few shared activities? Is that person someone you'd feel comfortable discussing your personal life or vulnerabilities with at all, and if so, to what extent? How much effort would you put into helping them with things or making time to spend with them? Regardless of how you answer these questions, there's a pretty high chance that relationship would be considered a 'Real' friendship as long as it was slightly closer or longer lasting than the minimalistic 'casual' friendship.
Commonly in the aro community, 'friendship' can mean any of these things too, but more often can refer to a deeper non-romantic relationship. I've only recently begun to realize how much I might actually fall into the category of 'placing higher expectations on close friends than most of society', but it's true that even 'best' friends, the closest 'normal' form of friendship, have a certain limit to the amount of commitment that's considered acceptable. Originally, the term queerplatonic was specifically about queering the standard for platonic relationships - and while there's been a lot of recent debate over what 'platonic' really means or covers, based on some of the conversations I saw during QPR's original framing, it seemed to be used somewhat interchangeably with 'friendship' at the time.
I won't get into the details here, but as conversations around QPRs (and squishes) changed, it did seem that was a lot more talk of what 'platonic feelings' felt like, what 'queerplatonic' feelings felt like, and so forth. This was actually pretty confusing to me, because it re-framed something I didn't even realize could be framed differently: friendship wasn't defined as much now by structure - what activities are done together, what levels of emotional effort and commitment are involved - but by the specific nature of the 'feelings' involved. Before I had kind of just figured there was 'romantic Feelings', which I lacked, and then there was just....Non-Romantic Feelings/Relationships. I never thought of 'friendship' as having a unique 'feeling' to it, per say. I just thought of it as feeling at least somewhat positively about someone, feeling familiar with them, and Not Having Romantic Feelings for them. And this has been a considerable source of confusion for me, since while I wholeheartedly agree that a relationship is whatever the people involved Decide it is regardless of what it 'looks' like, it sometimes feels like I don't having much of a framework beyond social etiquette and vague, oversimplified terms to guide my own interpersonal relationships.
Regardless, this all means that yes, my own definition of friendship often does differ from others, though I also wish there were either a lot more words for different kinds of friendships, or that it was considered the norm to have 'where do we want to take this relationship/what to we want out of it' conversations more casually and not just with potential romantic partners. I usually define friendship somewhere on the more best friend territory side of 'close friend', but also use the term for people I'm especially familiar with but have slightly more 'muted' feelings for. I've also taken to referring to a lot of friendships that might look romantic-coded or qpr-coded as 'Epic Friendships', because they're deeper or more 'grand scale' than people usually think of even best friends as being, while not necessarily being 'coupled' formally.
This relates pretty directly to another one of the prompts, asking about how one's aromanticism affects the kind of things one wants out of a friendship, the kinds of things they'd like to do together. For myself, I do tend to have slightly muted emotions for periods of time in general, so while I may occasionally have 'friendship feelings' for people I like, I can't easily base a close or epic friendship off of having those All The Time. So instead I do think of the kind of structural things I want, and I do think my lack of romantic attraction and romance repulsion helped shape those ideas. Sharing hobbies and interests is important to me in a friendship, along with sharing core philosophical/moral beliefs. That by itself, along with some feeling of familiarity and basic communication compatibility, is enough for me to consider someone 'a friend' (not a casual friend, or co-worker friend, but A Friend). To really reach Close Friend levels though, I would want to do /lots/ of activities with the person - fun projects, watching shows/playing games together, going out to places together if/when possible, having long conversations. I'd also have to feel like I could talk to them about my struggles and experiences openly, which is honestly the hardest criteria for me to meet with people. This would also increase the feelings of loyalty/commitment I feel for a friendship. Epic Friendship, though, would be like...we SUPPORT each other. Emotionally, financially, however we can. We actually feel excited to spend time with each other, at least a decent bit of the time. And there's definitely effort made to keep up little routines and make time for each other. Most people would reserve that sort of thing for a romantic relationship, or a qpr (and, by the old definition at least, Epic Friendship is an iteration of qpr, on paper), for my aro and probably gray-platonic self, I would just think of that as deep friendship. (That said, there's definitely lots of grey areas between these 'stages' of friendship too)
To wrap up, I just want to briefly touch on some of the less-directly-related-to-my-above-rambling prompts. xD One was if the aro community has specific ideas on friendship - and I'd yes, yes absolutely; dissecting, celebrating, discussing friendship in various ways is a Big part of the community. There are aros who don't seek friendships or have complicated feelings about the term/concept for various reasons, which given the prevalence of friendship as a concept in society and the many ideas conflated with it is a whole conversation on its own. And many other aros feel that friendship means more to them to your average alloromantic, and discuss the way society devalues friendship and non-romantic relationships as a whole. I've always been very interested in these conversations, and am excited to see the kind of changes and developments our communities increasing activism brings about.
Finally, the prompts asked about group friendship, or friendship as community. Naturally, as more people get involved in a group or community, the less 'lose-knit' the 'whole' becomes, but the feeling of community and resources increases. With smaller groups, there's also definitely unique dynamic on is expected of everyone when they're all together compared to what various individual relationships within the group expect of each other. I do think community friendship should be valued more - people who have more finances and resources should share with those who have less just as a matter of course. But currently, even within close groups, while often there grows in-jokes, familiarity, and expectations, it's not been my experiences or my observation in others that friend groups are expected to take care of each other very much. Some amount of emotional support it offered/expected, but it does seem to have a built-in limit. Group Epic Friendship (Found Family?), while somewhat popular in fiction, doesn't seem to have a lot of real-life respect (or at least, people don't generally seem to be looking to start that kind of thing as far as I'm aware).
So there are some of my disjointed musings on friendship! A vague word with a lot of different definitions, but still a phenomenally important concept in all its variety for a lot of people, especially many aromantics. And this ambiguity, while not always a bad thing, is absolutely worth dissecting and analyzing for those of us who want more clear-cut frameworks for navigating interpersonal relationships.
The first prompt asks about how we define friendship - what does the word bring to mind, and if it differs from other people's definitions. For myself, I've always found the word 'friend' both very simple and very vague. Because it honestly covers a huge range of relationship styles, degrees of closeness, and personal investment. In certain regards, 'friend' can be used to imply only the most basic requirements for functional, semi-regular interactions: someone you reasonably like/treat well and are more familiar with than a stranger or distant acquaintance. 'Casual' friends are friends who usually only meet these requirements, and maybe the addition of occasionally interacting with them in a non-work setting. In this sense, it becomes rude to say someone you see semi-often and don't hate 'isn't your friend'. Amiable classmates and co-workers are also often called 'friends' by default, even if you aren't especially close.
This has sometimes been awkward for me, because I don't instinctively consider casual friends...'friends'. I'll refer to them as such because that's polite and less clunky sounding than always saying 'my acquaintance' or something, but inwardly there's always a feeling of doubt on if I actually want to commit to 'being friends' with them. Because the word 'friend' also applies to a range of closer friendships, which are generally lumped together under categories like 'close friend' or 'Real friend', and its those kinds of relationships I roughly think of first when I consider the term 'friend'. But even that's imperfect, because again - the sheer variety encompassed there. Is that person one you like mostly from familiarity and a few shared activities? Is that person someone you'd feel comfortable discussing your personal life or vulnerabilities with at all, and if so, to what extent? How much effort would you put into helping them with things or making time to spend with them? Regardless of how you answer these questions, there's a pretty high chance that relationship would be considered a 'Real' friendship as long as it was slightly closer or longer lasting than the minimalistic 'casual' friendship.
Commonly in the aro community, 'friendship' can mean any of these things too, but more often can refer to a deeper non-romantic relationship. I've only recently begun to realize how much I might actually fall into the category of 'placing higher expectations on close friends than most of society', but it's true that even 'best' friends, the closest 'normal' form of friendship, have a certain limit to the amount of commitment that's considered acceptable. Originally, the term queerplatonic was specifically about queering the standard for platonic relationships - and while there's been a lot of recent debate over what 'platonic' really means or covers, based on some of the conversations I saw during QPR's original framing, it seemed to be used somewhat interchangeably with 'friendship' at the time.
I won't get into the details here, but as conversations around QPRs (and squishes) changed, it did seem that was a lot more talk of what 'platonic feelings' felt like, what 'queerplatonic' feelings felt like, and so forth. This was actually pretty confusing to me, because it re-framed something I didn't even realize could be framed differently: friendship wasn't defined as much now by structure - what activities are done together, what levels of emotional effort and commitment are involved - but by the specific nature of the 'feelings' involved. Before I had kind of just figured there was 'romantic Feelings', which I lacked, and then there was just....Non-Romantic Feelings/Relationships. I never thought of 'friendship' as having a unique 'feeling' to it, per say. I just thought of it as feeling at least somewhat positively about someone, feeling familiar with them, and Not Having Romantic Feelings for them. And this has been a considerable source of confusion for me, since while I wholeheartedly agree that a relationship is whatever the people involved Decide it is regardless of what it 'looks' like, it sometimes feels like I don't having much of a framework beyond social etiquette and vague, oversimplified terms to guide my own interpersonal relationships.
Regardless, this all means that yes, my own definition of friendship often does differ from others, though I also wish there were either a lot more words for different kinds of friendships, or that it was considered the norm to have 'where do we want to take this relationship/what to we want out of it' conversations more casually and not just with potential romantic partners. I usually define friendship somewhere on the more best friend territory side of 'close friend', but also use the term for people I'm especially familiar with but have slightly more 'muted' feelings for. I've also taken to referring to a lot of friendships that might look romantic-coded or qpr-coded as 'Epic Friendships', because they're deeper or more 'grand scale' than people usually think of even best friends as being, while not necessarily being 'coupled' formally.
This relates pretty directly to another one of the prompts, asking about how one's aromanticism affects the kind of things one wants out of a friendship, the kinds of things they'd like to do together. For myself, I do tend to have slightly muted emotions for periods of time in general, so while I may occasionally have 'friendship feelings' for people I like, I can't easily base a close or epic friendship off of having those All The Time. So instead I do think of the kind of structural things I want, and I do think my lack of romantic attraction and romance repulsion helped shape those ideas. Sharing hobbies and interests is important to me in a friendship, along with sharing core philosophical/moral beliefs. That by itself, along with some feeling of familiarity and basic communication compatibility, is enough for me to consider someone 'a friend' (not a casual friend, or co-worker friend, but A Friend). To really reach Close Friend levels though, I would want to do /lots/ of activities with the person - fun projects, watching shows/playing games together, going out to places together if/when possible, having long conversations. I'd also have to feel like I could talk to them about my struggles and experiences openly, which is honestly the hardest criteria for me to meet with people. This would also increase the feelings of loyalty/commitment I feel for a friendship. Epic Friendship, though, would be like...we SUPPORT each other. Emotionally, financially, however we can. We actually feel excited to spend time with each other, at least a decent bit of the time. And there's definitely effort made to keep up little routines and make time for each other. Most people would reserve that sort of thing for a romantic relationship, or a qpr (and, by the old definition at least, Epic Friendship is an iteration of qpr, on paper), for my aro and probably gray-platonic self, I would just think of that as deep friendship. (That said, there's definitely lots of grey areas between these 'stages' of friendship too)
To wrap up, I just want to briefly touch on some of the less-directly-related-to-my-above-rambling prompts. xD One was if the aro community has specific ideas on friendship - and I'd yes, yes absolutely; dissecting, celebrating, discussing friendship in various ways is a Big part of the community. There are aros who don't seek friendships or have complicated feelings about the term/concept for various reasons, which given the prevalence of friendship as a concept in society and the many ideas conflated with it is a whole conversation on its own. And many other aros feel that friendship means more to them to your average alloromantic, and discuss the way society devalues friendship and non-romantic relationships as a whole. I've always been very interested in these conversations, and am excited to see the kind of changes and developments our communities increasing activism brings about.
Finally, the prompts asked about group friendship, or friendship as community. Naturally, as more people get involved in a group or community, the less 'lose-knit' the 'whole' becomes, but the feeling of community and resources increases. With smaller groups, there's also definitely unique dynamic on is expected of everyone when they're all together compared to what various individual relationships within the group expect of each other. I do think community friendship should be valued more - people who have more finances and resources should share with those who have less just as a matter of course. But currently, even within close groups, while often there grows in-jokes, familiarity, and expectations, it's not been my experiences or my observation in others that friend groups are expected to take care of each other very much. Some amount of emotional support it offered/expected, but it does seem to have a built-in limit. Group Epic Friendship (Found Family?), while somewhat popular in fiction, doesn't seem to have a lot of real-life respect (or at least, people don't generally seem to be looking to start that kind of thing as far as I'm aware).
So there are some of my disjointed musings on friendship! A vague word with a lot of different definitions, but still a phenomenally important concept in all its variety for a lot of people, especially many aromantics. And this ambiguity, while not always a bad thing, is absolutely worth dissecting and analyzing for those of us who want more clear-cut frameworks for navigating interpersonal relationships.
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Carnival of Aros: September 2021 Round Up
Thank you to everyone who participated this month! The theme for the month was Language, and it was really interesting to see what everyone had to say. Here are all the submissions I received (let me know if I missed any!):
shimarin-chi wrote about the struggle of being in a USA, English speaking dominant aro community as a non-native English speaker from a different country. (Link)
Nothing Radical wrote about their experiences with and critiques of the Split Attraction Model as it is used/discussed in a-spec communities. (Link)
Roboticanary wrote about how terminology, concepts, and culture influence each other in his experience. (Link)
Char Char Char wrote about the phrase 'Just Friends' and the aro community's reaction to it, also using an example from the film Shang-Chi. (Link)
mesotablar wrote about how the rapid progression of terminology in the community can make it difficult to stay connected to the community for older members or anyone who takes a break or interacts with it more casually. (Link)
sildarmillion wrote about their experiences in exploring and discovering their identity in relation to various terminology. (Link)
Scoop wrote about the choices of a-spec authors to use or not use the term 'aromantic' for their aro characters, using Common Bonds: a Speculative Aromantic Anthology as an example. (Link)
Isaac wrote about how some terms often used in the aro community don't translate easily into Spanish and how he engages with that. (Link)
thinking-aromanticism wrote a critical piece on how it viewed the community's relationship with terminology. (Link)
There we have it folks! Make sure to check out October's carnival too, which has the theme of Friendship.
shimarin-chi wrote about the struggle of being in a USA, English speaking dominant aro community as a non-native English speaker from a different country. (Link)
Nothing Radical wrote about their experiences with and critiques of the Split Attraction Model as it is used/discussed in a-spec communities. (Link)
Roboticanary wrote about how terminology, concepts, and culture influence each other in his experience. (Link)
Char Char Char wrote about the phrase 'Just Friends' and the aro community's reaction to it, also using an example from the film Shang-Chi. (Link)
mesotablar wrote about how the rapid progression of terminology in the community can make it difficult to stay connected to the community for older members or anyone who takes a break or interacts with it more casually. (Link)
sildarmillion wrote about their experiences in exploring and discovering their identity in relation to various terminology. (Link)
Scoop wrote about the choices of a-spec authors to use or not use the term 'aromantic' for their aro characters, using Common Bonds: a Speculative Aromantic Anthology as an example. (Link)
Isaac wrote about how some terms often used in the aro community don't translate easily into Spanish and how he engages with that. (Link)
thinking-aromanticism wrote a critical piece on how it viewed the community's relationship with terminology. (Link)
There we have it folks! Make sure to check out October's carnival too, which has the theme of Friendship.
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Carnival of Aros Call for Submissions: Language
Hi all! I am hosting this month's Carnival of Aros. The carnival is a monthly blogging event in which participants create content based around aromanticism and the chosen theme for the month.
This month's theme is: Langauge
Terminology is so often a topic of much discussion and debate in the aro community, as we create and critique new terms all the time, and deeply analyze and critique pre-existing terms just as regularly. The aromantic community was also built largely online - and there's no denying English is the dominant language spoken on the Internet. So I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to share their thoughts on language in the aromantic community, whether that's from a non-English perspective or generally about our relationship with terminology (or both!).
Here are some prompts to offer inspiration, though of course if the general theme inspires you to take a totally different direction, then absolutely feel free to follow that muse instead:
These are just a few ideas to work with; again, any method or approach to the theme is welcome. Language and communication is a huge part of culture and interpersonal relationships, and aromanticism intersects directly with both of those things.
To participate, leave a link to the content you created (a blog post, video, photograph, etc.) by October 3, 2021. I plan to post the round up of links October 4. My blog is set up to take anonymous comments, so no worries if you don't have a dreamwidth account! Happy September everyone, and I look forward to seeing everyone's contributions!
This month's theme is: Langauge
Terminology is so often a topic of much discussion and debate in the aro community, as we create and critique new terms all the time, and deeply analyze and critique pre-existing terms just as regularly. The aromantic community was also built largely online - and there's no denying English is the dominant language spoken on the Internet. So I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to share their thoughts on language in the aromantic community, whether that's from a non-English perspective or generally about our relationship with terminology (or both!).
Here are some prompts to offer inspiration, though of course if the general theme inspires you to take a totally different direction, then absolutely feel free to follow that muse instead:
- How do you approach discussing things like attraction, orientation, and so forth?
- Are there any new terms you've found especially helpful, or conversely, which concepts do you think are lacking proper terminology?
- How do you feel about how the aro community at large handles discussions on terminology?
- What's your relationship with how new terminology is created, shared, and discussed?
- Are there any terms or phrases or concepts in your native language that you find more useful than the English terms, or are there any concepts you'd like to see explored more thoroughly in your native language?
These are just a few ideas to work with; again, any method or approach to the theme is welcome. Language and communication is a huge part of culture and interpersonal relationships, and aromanticism intersects directly with both of those things.
To participate, leave a link to the content you created (a blog post, video, photograph, etc.) by October 3, 2021. I plan to post the round up of links October 4. My blog is set up to take anonymous comments, so no worries if you don't have a dreamwidth account! Happy September everyone, and I look forward to seeing everyone's contributions!
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Carnival of Aros: Stories
The prompt for January's Carnival of Aros was 'stories'. I only realized this about a day or two before the deadline, as is typical of me, but as I always have much to say about stories and storytelling, here I am coming in late anyways! xD
In terms of aromanticism, there's a lot I would like to see or create narrative wise. For what I want to see - more stories exploring the diversity of aromantic experiences, through different kinds of literary and genre references and different mediums. Books, video games, movies; realistic fciction, fantasy, mystery; all of those things exploring or including aromantic narratives of different sorts. Let's see romance-repulsed, indifferent, and favorable aros. Aros who want only close friends, aros who don't want to center their lives around any kind of relationship, aros who pursue their own kind of romantic relationships. Different types and patterns of attraction. Obviously not every story needs to cover every perspective, or even needs to make exploring these ideas the focus of the plot, but having these kinds of characters and narratives exist and be acknowledged more would be fantastic.
As for what I want to write myself - I'm a speculative fiction enthusiast and repulsed aroace, so most of what I enjoy creating is heavily influenced by that lens. I don't typically write stories exclusively centered on a character's orientation or day to day personal life, but many of my characters are aro-spec, and some do have that as one part of their character arc. I like writing characters who are still finding their way in the world and figuring out what kind of relationships they want, and that growth is generally informed by the fantastical struggles I put them against (and the way they interact with the other characters while working through them). I do like writing epic friendships and found families, but just as much it's important to me to write a character as being able to stand alone and not have every part of their development revolve around a certain other character.
I think stories are both an important way of communicating and of entertaining yourself, so I always keep both those elements in mind while writing and reading. So I would love to see more varied narratives come up, especially those that take less traditional views on relationships or simply de-centralize them, and I hope to write stories that at least somewhat diversify narratives as well. I do think media is slowly getting better at that as well, even if they are slow to acknowledge aromanticism in any real way - but it is easier now to find slightly different relationship portrayals now a days than it used to be, and I appreciate that.
In terms of aromanticism, there's a lot I would like to see or create narrative wise. For what I want to see - more stories exploring the diversity of aromantic experiences, through different kinds of literary and genre references and different mediums. Books, video games, movies; realistic fciction, fantasy, mystery; all of those things exploring or including aromantic narratives of different sorts. Let's see romance-repulsed, indifferent, and favorable aros. Aros who want only close friends, aros who don't want to center their lives around any kind of relationship, aros who pursue their own kind of romantic relationships. Different types and patterns of attraction. Obviously not every story needs to cover every perspective, or even needs to make exploring these ideas the focus of the plot, but having these kinds of characters and narratives exist and be acknowledged more would be fantastic.
As for what I want to write myself - I'm a speculative fiction enthusiast and repulsed aroace, so most of what I enjoy creating is heavily influenced by that lens. I don't typically write stories exclusively centered on a character's orientation or day to day personal life, but many of my characters are aro-spec, and some do have that as one part of their character arc. I like writing characters who are still finding their way in the world and figuring out what kind of relationships they want, and that growth is generally informed by the fantastical struggles I put them against (and the way they interact with the other characters while working through them). I do like writing epic friendships and found families, but just as much it's important to me to write a character as being able to stand alone and not have every part of their development revolve around a certain other character.
I think stories are both an important way of communicating and of entertaining yourself, so I always keep both those elements in mind while writing and reading. So I would love to see more varied narratives come up, especially those that take less traditional views on relationships or simply de-centralize them, and I hope to write stories that at least somewhat diversify narratives as well. I do think media is slowly getting better at that as well, even if they are slow to acknowledge aromanticism in any real way - but it is easier now to find slightly different relationship portrayals now a days than it used to be, and I appreciate that.
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NaNo 2020 Onwards Update
A lot has happened since I last updated! I'll start with nanowrimo, since that was a notable event like usual for me. I wrote about 35,000 words total, so not the full 50k, but I did succeed in writing every day that month, so I'm proud of sustaining my writing habit during that time. Especially since that kind of....died afterwards xD. My life was rather taken over by roleplaying, especially that of Masks, a superhero based rp game. I have written much supplementary material for it, and still vaguely intend to write quite a bit more.
I also completed my 2020 reading goal of 24 books! I read the first five volumes of Fruits Basket to complete it on time. I kind of like the series so far, and generally intend to get back to it this year, but it's not a super high priority or anything. I don't love the series, but it wasn't unpleasant to read either. I kicked of this year's reading goal (also of 24 books) with starting the Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson, which I'm really enjoying a lot so far. As of this post's creation, I have read The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance all the way, and have begun reading Oathbringer. I plan to read through to the end of Rhythms of War before moving on to other books or book series.
I have also finally seen The Mandalorian! I may write a proper review on the first two seasons, but basically I've liked it! It fits right in with the Star Wars verse, and has a fantastic cast of characters. I'm also rewatching The Clone Wars in preparation for viewing the seventh season finally, and that's been a lot of fun. I am watching Wandavision weekly as well, so you can (probably?) expect a season one review for that once it's finished as well.
Also! I am finally, slowly getting back to working on my non-rp original projects! I just wrote a little more for my fantasy utopia/mystery story outline for the first time in ages, so that's been really good. Maybe I'll even poke around some of my other original projects soon, but for now I'm seeing how far I'll go with this one.
And that...is where I am now! xD Oh, and I totally failed to do the Snowflake Challenge on time this year so please expect to see posts for it exceptionally late.
I also completed my 2020 reading goal of 24 books! I read the first five volumes of Fruits Basket to complete it on time. I kind of like the series so far, and generally intend to get back to it this year, but it's not a super high priority or anything. I don't love the series, but it wasn't unpleasant to read either. I kicked of this year's reading goal (also of 24 books) with starting the Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson, which I'm really enjoying a lot so far. As of this post's creation, I have read The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance all the way, and have begun reading Oathbringer. I plan to read through to the end of Rhythms of War before moving on to other books or book series.
I have also finally seen The Mandalorian! I may write a proper review on the first two seasons, but basically I've liked it! It fits right in with the Star Wars verse, and has a fantastic cast of characters. I'm also rewatching The Clone Wars in preparation for viewing the seventh season finally, and that's been a lot of fun. I am watching Wandavision weekly as well, so you can (probably?) expect a season one review for that once it's finished as well.
Also! I am finally, slowly getting back to working on my non-rp original projects! I just wrote a little more for my fantasy utopia/mystery story outline for the first time in ages, so that's been really good. Maybe I'll even poke around some of my other original projects soon, but for now I'm seeing how far I'll go with this one.
And that...is where I am now! xD Oh, and I totally failed to do the Snowflake Challenge on time this year so please expect to see posts for it exceptionally late.
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Carnival of Aros - Commitment
This month's Carnival of Aros is on the theme of Commitment, which I'm pretty excited to see all the different responses for since it's certainly a topic I've seen many different takes on within the community. There's a lot of different areas in one's life where commitment can come in to play, so for myself, I'll be starting with the areas that are most straightforward to me: academics and creative interests. Whenever I'm enrolled in school, it always becomes my most important commitment. Part of this admittedly is because I'm a perfectionist who becomes distressed at the slightest failure and this trait becomes far more prominent in class, but its also because I enjoy school and find it incredibly important to me personally. It's one area that I think about and plan for most, and if I had the resources to do so I'd likely never stop going to school/taking classes. Creative interests are the only things that rival education for me in terms of importance. I definitely consider myself committed to creativity and story telling in general, and I see it as both a hobby and my ideal career. Of course, staying committed to specific creative projects is much harder for me - if something isn't an external obligation or a hyperfixation, it's extremely difficult to focus on/be invested in for extended periods of time. That has been a major obstacle for me, as I do greatly want to be able to finish things, but so far all I've managed to do is make sure I work on something creative most days.
Does my aromanticism have anything to do with any of this? Possibly, in so far as I consider my aromanticism to be influential on my general philosophy/world view. But more directly, of course, my aromanticism relates to commitment in interpersonal relationships - something far less straightforward to me, personally. I would say I do look for some level of commitment in my friendships, even if that's only 'commitment to behaving in a friendly manner around each other and offering assistance when necessary'. I'm very poor at social consistency myself, so I usually don't expect anyone to spend x amount of time with me to be a friend (although a certain amount of time is definitely needed before I usually feel especially close to someone). I generally have very little idea how committed people do or don't feel towards me, so I typically just take actions/behaviors at face value, and don't take it too personally if people don't contact me in a while.
When it comes to the idea of 'partnerships', that level of commitment has always seemed like A Bit Much to me. Romantic relationships seem rather unappealing and stifling, and I can't relate at all to how people talk about queerplatonic relationships now a days either. That said, the way the concept of a qpr was originally introduced to me - an entirely malleable platonic partnership - did sound quite appealing at the time. To have someone who functionally was a Best Friend in most ways but more committed to living with me/less likely to ditch me for a romantic partner would be pretty neat. It's not something I'm actively seeking out, but the idea is a lot nicer than any other form of partnership.
(Family commitments are the most straightforward to me, the only time things get at all complicated it with extended relatives. And 'genetic family' as a concept isn't really important to me, even if most of my family is related by blood, as you can be genetically related to someone who doesn't earn the familial relationship or eventually find people who aren't related that do)
So as a whole, I do think my aromanticism, but more specifically my romance repulsion, does influence my relationship with commitment to some degree. And while I may not look for as intense of commitments as others, the commitments I do make I take very seriously.(Some of this could also be a neurodivergence thing but I'm not as clear on that). Thanks to this month's host and the carnival itself for offering these opportunities to examine different facets of aromanticism!
Does my aromanticism have anything to do with any of this? Possibly, in so far as I consider my aromanticism to be influential on my general philosophy/world view. But more directly, of course, my aromanticism relates to commitment in interpersonal relationships - something far less straightforward to me, personally. I would say I do look for some level of commitment in my friendships, even if that's only 'commitment to behaving in a friendly manner around each other and offering assistance when necessary'. I'm very poor at social consistency myself, so I usually don't expect anyone to spend x amount of time with me to be a friend (although a certain amount of time is definitely needed before I usually feel especially close to someone). I generally have very little idea how committed people do or don't feel towards me, so I typically just take actions/behaviors at face value, and don't take it too personally if people don't contact me in a while.
When it comes to the idea of 'partnerships', that level of commitment has always seemed like A Bit Much to me. Romantic relationships seem rather unappealing and stifling, and I can't relate at all to how people talk about queerplatonic relationships now a days either. That said, the way the concept of a qpr was originally introduced to me - an entirely malleable platonic partnership - did sound quite appealing at the time. To have someone who functionally was a Best Friend in most ways but more committed to living with me/less likely to ditch me for a romantic partner would be pretty neat. It's not something I'm actively seeking out, but the idea is a lot nicer than any other form of partnership.
(Family commitments are the most straightforward to me, the only time things get at all complicated it with extended relatives. And 'genetic family' as a concept isn't really important to me, even if most of my family is related by blood, as you can be genetically related to someone who doesn't earn the familial relationship or eventually find people who aren't related that do)
So as a whole, I do think my aromanticism, but more specifically my romance repulsion, does influence my relationship with commitment to some degree. And while I may not look for as intense of commitments as others, the commitments I do make I take very seriously.
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Every Heart a Doorway Book Review
I recently read Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire for the Ace Readathon that was hosted on Twitter during October. It is the first in a series, which I knew going in, so I didn't expect every single thing to be perfectly resolved. It was a relatively short book about a group of teens who all wish they could go back to the fantasy worlds they went to as kids trying to solve a murder in their new school/home. Overall, I had somewhat mixed feelings on the book, as I enjoyed certain elements quite a bit, but also clearly had the wrong expectations of the kind of book it was going to be, because I kept trying to figure out what was supposed to be the Central aspect of the book and seeing how everything was supposed to fit together thematically, which definitely made feeling invested more challenging.
Our main character, Nancy, went to an Underworld where servants of the court had to stay still as statues, and she and the prince (?) had some kind of relationship that Nancy thought was romance I guess. The diversity of the fantasy worlds the different kids went to was pretty interesting, but it actually wasn't explored much or focused on. Which leads me to one of my first critiques of the books - everyone seemed to have some kind of stockholm like need to return to their fantasy worlds, even though almost all of them sounded like terrible places to live, ones where any story actually set in that world would be about criticizing it in some way. And that's just...never questioned. Up until the end, that's what the characters want, and I felt weird about the implication I was supposed to be rooting for them somehow in this endeavor.
But that was really more of a b plot, or really just background context. The core of the story was the murder mystery. On its own, I did think it was a well done murder mystery. The clues were gruesome but interesting, and I didn't guess the culprit until it was revealed. And the writing style was pretty vivid and easy to follow, so that was good too. But I didn't really see the point of the mystery when there was all this character building potential in the background - and if the mystery was going to be the focus, why have these character building scenes scattered about in the first place? They didn't actually lead anywhere, and had no impact on the mystery.
So, while I did enjoy the book, I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more if I had understood its purpose from the beginning a lot better. Because as it, I'm still not entirely sure what the purpose was. The excerpt of the second book only made that more confusing - it seems to be a prequel about two characters who pretty much left the entire main setting at the end of book one. That said, it also looked interesting, so I may yet read it anyways. And I'd definitely be curious to read more of the author's work to see what some of her other stories are like.
Our main character, Nancy, went to an Underworld where servants of the court had to stay still as statues, and she and the prince (?) had some kind of relationship that Nancy thought was romance I guess. The diversity of the fantasy worlds the different kids went to was pretty interesting, but it actually wasn't explored much or focused on. Which leads me to one of my first critiques of the books - everyone seemed to have some kind of stockholm like need to return to their fantasy worlds, even though almost all of them sounded like terrible places to live, ones where any story actually set in that world would be about criticizing it in some way. And that's just...never questioned. Up until the end, that's what the characters want, and I felt weird about the implication I was supposed to be rooting for them somehow in this endeavor.
But that was really more of a b plot, or really just background context. The core of the story was the murder mystery. On its own, I did think it was a well done murder mystery. The clues were gruesome but interesting, and I didn't guess the culprit until it was revealed. And the writing style was pretty vivid and easy to follow, so that was good too. But I didn't really see the point of the mystery when there was all this character building potential in the background - and if the mystery was going to be the focus, why have these character building scenes scattered about in the first place? They didn't actually lead anywhere, and had no impact on the mystery.
So, while I did enjoy the book, I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more if I had understood its purpose from the beginning a lot better. Because as it, I'm still not entirely sure what the purpose was. The excerpt of the second book only made that more confusing - it seems to be a prequel about two characters who pretty much left the entire main setting at the end of book one. That said, it also looked interesting, so I may yet read it anyways. And I'd definitely be curious to read more of the author's work to see what some of her other stories are like.
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Carnival of Aros: Prioritization
The theme for this month's Carnival of Aros is "Prioritization", which I'm pretty excited to talk about since it's a subject I've given thought before now as well. The questions for this prompt were excellent I felt, so for once I'm going to try and answer them directly rather than indirectly like I usually do.
How important is aromanticism to you?
My aromanticism is extremely important to me! It shapes a lot of how I understand and engage with various aspects of society, and has certainly had a huge impact on how I view relationships in general. I am romance-repulsed as well, so relating to others has always been a bit difficult for me (that's not the only reason why of course, but I know it's at least one significant reason), so having the aromantic community to lurk around in has been quite helpful for whenever I get some of that Aro Depression going. Being able to put a word to my experiences has also been helpful, because while I didn't have the extreme feelings of brokenness some other aros suffered before learning they were aro, I did sometimes wonder if something had gone wrong with me neurologically (it wasn't something I dwelled on, and mostly I just found others to be the weird/baffling ones, but still, I knew it was weird I had never had a crush the older I got - most of those thought were probably more related to my general depression/apathy, but still, being aro added to it). I'd say that my aromanticism has actually become increasingly important over time, as I used to be unsure if I was really aro/if knowing my romantic orientation was really important back when I only id'd as asexual, but now it's the identity I think about the most.
Do you have a different orientation you prioritize over your aromanticism? What about gender identity?
I don't, actually. I am also asexual and quite sex repulsed, and that does matter to me a lot, but I've found that when it comes to prioritizing identities, for me at least, the communities I'm in have a large impact on that. I don't really spend time in the ace community anymore, even if I still generally care about ace issues, while I spend a lot of time in the aro community. And while there are certainly societal philosophies about sex that are very acephobic and those frustrate me, day to day I'm personally more afflicted by the societal philosophies about relationships that are very arophobic. (Context does matter - I'm just not in the context where sex philosophies/issues come into play as often. When it does come up though I'm typically just as passionate about them) As for gender...my gender identity has never been a big focus for me. I'm primarily a cis girl, and as a kid I was very self-conscious of that and had some degree of internalized misogyny, but once I'd gotten past that I wasn't really too focused on my own gender feelings, just on how society treated women in general and how I was also affected by that. I have thought that my somewhat neutral gender feelings could be a sign of me being arogender or perhaps a paragirl, as I do feel some affinity to the agender experience but also not entirely, but that isn't something I've put a lot of significance on as of yet.
Do you use the split attraction model? Does your identity feel split between romantic and sexual attraction or not?
I both do and don't use the split attraction model, depending on how you look at it. I id as aroace, which by nature of listing both aro and ace treats them as separate identities. But I am perioriented, so you could argue I'm not using it as well. How I feel about it fluctuates. Because internally, there is absolutely no divide between my lack of sexual attraction and lack of romantic attraction. I don't find people attractive, in general, and that's that. However, because of how different the communities are, externally I try to separate my ace and aro experiences as much as possible. And in some ways, the way people talk about sex vs how they talk about relationships is somewhat separate - but there are also a lot areas where the discussions overlap, so how much separating the experiences is useful also varies for me.
If activism is something you’re interested in, how does your aromanticism play into that? Is aro activism something you focus on or are interested in?
I'm not currently super focused on aro activism, but it's something I'm certainly extremely interested in and would like to partake in more. It's the main form of activism I'm interested in personally pursuing due to how unrecognized the issues are and how much it matters to me personally (if I had the time and energy to be equally involved in all causes, I would, but as is I often don't have the time/energy to get involved in one area as much as I'd like). If nothing else, whenever there's an aro community event I qualify for, I try to participate, but hopefully I'm eventually able to be more directly involved in more projects as well!
Hypothetically, if you could only choose one label to come out as, what would you choose?
Definitely aromantic. I haven't been in the situation of having to come out very often (I'm so open about being aro online that it's only in certain spaces I'd ever feel nervous about it), and practicality usually has me coming out as ace first since it's more well known (by comparison anyways), but I definitely think of myself as being more so 'just aro' than 'just ace', even though internally I'm both equally. Ironically, I used to strongly id as 'just ace' in high school before I was sure I was aro, and was extremely frustrated with how much the ace community emphasized their desire to still date - I wanted to be able to tell people I was ace and have them understand that wasn't what I wanted. Which, is probably why I came to id more as aro over time lol. So yeah, if it weren't for the fact that coming out in person is super stressful and that I was already out online, I'd choose to just come out as aro if I couldn't also come out as ace rather than the other way around.
How important is aromanticism to you?
My aromanticism is extremely important to me! It shapes a lot of how I understand and engage with various aspects of society, and has certainly had a huge impact on how I view relationships in general. I am romance-repulsed as well, so relating to others has always been a bit difficult for me (that's not the only reason why of course, but I know it's at least one significant reason), so having the aromantic community to lurk around in has been quite helpful for whenever I get some of that Aro Depression going. Being able to put a word to my experiences has also been helpful, because while I didn't have the extreme feelings of brokenness some other aros suffered before learning they were aro, I did sometimes wonder if something had gone wrong with me neurologically (it wasn't something I dwelled on, and mostly I just found others to be the weird/baffling ones, but still, I knew it was weird I had never had a crush the older I got - most of those thought were probably more related to my general depression/apathy, but still, being aro added to it). I'd say that my aromanticism has actually become increasingly important over time, as I used to be unsure if I was really aro/if knowing my romantic orientation was really important back when I only id'd as asexual, but now it's the identity I think about the most.
Do you have a different orientation you prioritize over your aromanticism? What about gender identity?
I don't, actually. I am also asexual and quite sex repulsed, and that does matter to me a lot, but I've found that when it comes to prioritizing identities, for me at least, the communities I'm in have a large impact on that. I don't really spend time in the ace community anymore, even if I still generally care about ace issues, while I spend a lot of time in the aro community. And while there are certainly societal philosophies about sex that are very acephobic and those frustrate me, day to day I'm personally more afflicted by the societal philosophies about relationships that are very arophobic. (Context does matter - I'm just not in the context where sex philosophies/issues come into play as often. When it does come up though I'm typically just as passionate about them) As for gender...my gender identity has never been a big focus for me. I'm primarily a cis girl, and as a kid I was very self-conscious of that and had some degree of internalized misogyny, but once I'd gotten past that I wasn't really too focused on my own gender feelings, just on how society treated women in general and how I was also affected by that. I have thought that my somewhat neutral gender feelings could be a sign of me being arogender or perhaps a paragirl, as I do feel some affinity to the agender experience but also not entirely, but that isn't something I've put a lot of significance on as of yet.
Do you use the split attraction model? Does your identity feel split between romantic and sexual attraction or not?
I both do and don't use the split attraction model, depending on how you look at it. I id as aroace, which by nature of listing both aro and ace treats them as separate identities. But I am perioriented, so you could argue I'm not using it as well. How I feel about it fluctuates. Because internally, there is absolutely no divide between my lack of sexual attraction and lack of romantic attraction. I don't find people attractive, in general, and that's that. However, because of how different the communities are, externally I try to separate my ace and aro experiences as much as possible. And in some ways, the way people talk about sex vs how they talk about relationships is somewhat separate - but there are also a lot areas where the discussions overlap, so how much separating the experiences is useful also varies for me.
If activism is something you’re interested in, how does your aromanticism play into that? Is aro activism something you focus on or are interested in?
I'm not currently super focused on aro activism, but it's something I'm certainly extremely interested in and would like to partake in more. It's the main form of activism I'm interested in personally pursuing due to how unrecognized the issues are and how much it matters to me personally (if I had the time and energy to be equally involved in all causes, I would, but as is I often don't have the time/energy to get involved in one area as much as I'd like). If nothing else, whenever there's an aro community event I qualify for, I try to participate, but hopefully I'm eventually able to be more directly involved in more projects as well!
Hypothetically, if you could only choose one label to come out as, what would you choose?
Definitely aromantic. I haven't been in the situation of having to come out very often (I'm so open about being aro online that it's only in certain spaces I'd ever feel nervous about it), and practicality usually has me coming out as ace first since it's more well known (by comparison anyways), but I definitely think of myself as being more so 'just aro' than 'just ace', even though internally I'm both equally. Ironically, I used to strongly id as 'just ace' in high school before I was sure I was aro, and was extremely frustrated with how much the ace community emphasized their desire to still date - I wanted to be able to tell people I was ace and have them understand that wasn't what I wanted. Which, is probably why I came to id more as aro over time lol. So yeah, if it weren't for the fact that coming out in person is super stressful and that I was already out online, I'd choose to just come out as aro if I couldn't also come out as ace rather than the other way around.
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General Update
So I've been rather absent here of late! I've been a bit scattered and exhausted for a while now, but I still want to try and keep up on here at least periodically. SO! What I've been up to:
- Playing Guild Wars 2! I vaguely recall the first game from childhood, so when my friends wanted to try out the sequel, I was interested. I of course had to make my first character a Necromancer, and came up with a very short Sylvari woman named Visthira. She has joined the Durmand Priory and specializes in blood magic and soul reaping, with a side of death magic. I'm still annoyed that the game gave the player character a canon personality/voice, as it kind of discourages roleplaying, but even so I try to see Vis as herself - if nothing else, I'm happy with the vibes I'm getting from her! I would be happier if the light armor would let me have pants though, or a longer, more robe like skirt. Perhaps once I can do more with Outfits the problem will be solved lol. She is also a jeweler and tailor! But because I took so long to get to crafting, it has been hard to progress in it much. xD The areas with the right level of crafting material is FAR too low for my character level (and none of these salvage items are giving me JUTE SCRAPS), and I usually prioritize character leveling and plot following. But eventually I want to go back and catch up with my trades!
- Role-playing Masks! And spending far too much time writing supplementary material for my player character, who I almost never get to actually play since I've been DM-ing for a long time. I wrote (and even partially revised!) nearly 10,000 words for her backstory, and now I don't know what to do with myself since my hyperfixation is not useful xD
- Taking some Gale courses on writing screenplays, writing for magazines, and getting into online writing markets! These have been rather low-stress compared to past courses, and the screenwriting class in particular has given some of the most useful plotting advice I've seen a class give so far.
- I'm low-key participating in the Ace Readathon over on Twitter! I recently started reading Every Heart a Doorway, which has been interesting so far. If I finish it in time I'm going to read Beneath the Citadel next, so we'll see how it goes!
- Working on my story outline for the project I hope to post on Tapas. This is the second draft of the outline, since I want it to be as polished as possible before I start drafting (since Tapas is serialized). It has been very difficult to focus on because I want to do prose writing more. xD But I'll keep trying!
- Playing Guild Wars 2! I vaguely recall the first game from childhood, so when my friends wanted to try out the sequel, I was interested. I of course had to make my first character a Necromancer, and came up with a very short Sylvari woman named Visthira. She has joined the Durmand Priory and specializes in blood magic and soul reaping, with a side of death magic. I'm still annoyed that the game gave the player character a canon personality/voice, as it kind of discourages roleplaying, but even so I try to see Vis as herself - if nothing else, I'm happy with the vibes I'm getting from her! I would be happier if the light armor would let me have pants though, or a longer, more robe like skirt. Perhaps once I can do more with Outfits the problem will be solved lol. She is also a jeweler and tailor! But because I took so long to get to crafting, it has been hard to progress in it much. xD The areas with the right level of crafting material is FAR too low for my character level (and none of these salvage items are giving me JUTE SCRAPS), and I usually prioritize character leveling and plot following. But eventually I want to go back and catch up with my trades!
- Role-playing Masks! And spending far too much time writing supplementary material for my player character, who I almost never get to actually play since I've been DM-ing for a long time. I wrote (and even partially revised!) nearly 10,000 words for her backstory, and now I don't know what to do with myself since my hyperfixation is not useful xD
- Taking some Gale courses on writing screenplays, writing for magazines, and getting into online writing markets! These have been rather low-stress compared to past courses, and the screenwriting class in particular has given some of the most useful plotting advice I've seen a class give so far.
- I'm low-key participating in the Ace Readathon over on Twitter! I recently started reading Every Heart a Doorway, which has been interesting so far. If I finish it in time I'm going to read Beneath the Citadel next, so we'll see how it goes!
- Working on my story outline for the project I hope to post on Tapas. This is the second draft of the outline, since I want it to be as polished as possible before I start drafting (since Tapas is serialized). It has been very difficult to focus on because I want to do prose writing more. xD But I'll keep trying!
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Carnival of Aros: September Roundup
I want to give a (late, I know) huge thanks to those that participated in September's Carnival of Aros! The theme was 'Change', and it was great to see how the community was thinking about that. Here are the submissions I received (let me know if I missed any!):
"Carnival of Aros: Change" by CharCharChar the Ace.
"Carnival of Aros - Change" by aro-neir-o.
"Remembering Aro Blogging Over the Years" by Next Step: Cake.
"Change Through the Aro Renaissance" by Aro Magni.
And there we have it! Remember to check out October's call of submissions, on the theme of "Prioritization"!
"Carnival of Aros: Change" by CharCharChar the Ace.
"Carnival of Aros - Change" by aro-neir-o.
"Remembering Aro Blogging Over the Years" by Next Step: Cake.
"Change Through the Aro Renaissance" by Aro Magni.
And there we have it! Remember to check out October's call of submissions, on the theme of "Prioritization"!
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September Carnival of Aros: Change
A Carnival of Aros is a monthly blogging event in which a host (in this case, yours truly) comes up with an aromanticism based theme, allowing aromantics to write to the prompt however they see fit. Last month's theme was Open Questions for Aromantic Research, if you want to check that out! To submit your post for this month, write your response on your blog of choice, and then post the link here in a comment by the end of September 30 (my blog is set up to take anonymous comments, so no worries if you aren't on dreamwidth!). Late responses will be taken through October 2.
This month's theme is 'Change'. Our community is a young one, and as such it's constantly growing and changing. Also because of this, we don't have as much history yet as other communities. So I thought I'd give everyone a chance to both reflect on the progress we've made so far, and look to the future and consider what we might be able to do now to see the changes we want happen.
Here's some prompts to get you started, but feel free to ignore them if you want to answer a different way:
This month's theme is 'Change'. Our community is a young one, and as such it's constantly growing and changing. Also because of this, we don't have as much history yet as other communities. So I thought I'd give everyone a chance to both reflect on the progress we've made so far, and look to the future and consider what we might be able to do now to see the changes we want happen.
Here's some prompts to get you started, but feel free to ignore them if you want to answer a different way:
- What are some of the greatest changes you've seen in the community so far? How do you feel about them?
- What's a positive change you want to see for the aromantic community in the future?
- What's a negative change you could see happening that you want to avoid?
- What experiences have you had in the community that changed your own outlook on things, aromanticism or otherwise?
- How did discovering your aromanticism change things for you?
- What influence does your aromanticism have on other parts of your life - gender, identity, work, religion, etc.?
- What is something you believe we as a community could start doing immediately to work towards certain kinds of change?
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Sunshine Challenge - Violet
Lights dimmed, and low notes began to fill the auditorium. I gazed out in the direction of the orchestra, not really seeing; I was only there to kill some time. The strings came in, soaring, and the piano kept a steady flow of sonorous melodies. It felt almost wistful to me, and I started to pay more attention. It was so big it filled the room, filled the air, and yet it wasn't an oppressive sound. It ebbed and flowed like a wave at sea, pulling me gently with it. It was longing and joyous and somber, a euphony of feelings. Hearing it, being it, clarity came where before there was obscurity. When the final note rang it was almost jarring to remember I was in a regular seat, a regular room. I had no idea how much time had passed. I stayed for the rest of the performance, the harmonies echoing in my mind long after.
So many of the themes for violet were very internal concepts, so I focused on music and perception for my drabble, inspired by my own excitement whenever I get to see a band or play live. I always come out feeling more energized and ready to create things, so I thought I would give capturing some of that in writing a go. Creativity is a major source of joy and inspiration in general for me, whether it be consuming and engaging with others' creations or working on my own, but the essence of it feels very hard to capture without more space for context. Purple in general is a color I like, and have a wide range of associations with, varying in part with the shade in question. I consider purple to be a sort of rich, royal color, usually if its deep and a bit saturated. Purple is also commonly used in fiction to portray 'darkness' and 'shadow' related themes or magics (for example, the Shadow Medallion in Ocarina of Time is purple), so that's a fun association. Shades of lilac and lavender are more dreamy and spiritual to me, and have a majestic feel that be relaxing or energetic based on context. All in all, it's a fun and versatile color, and one I keep making many of my oc's wear. xD
The prompt also asks what we each might be able to offer others as gifts. I can certainly create drabbles and short stories (50-400 words for 'drabbles' and 500-2,000 words for short stories) for anyone who wants a specific theme or concept or character dynamic explored! There are certain things I wouldn't be comfortable writing (mainly nsfw content, excess sensuality, and gratuitous violence; regular violence is fine though lol), but otherwise I'm pretty willing to work with whatever ideas a requester might have. So drop me a comment or pm if you're interested! (Drabbles only would take me a day or two to write, short stories could take a few weeks up to a month)
So many of the themes for violet were very internal concepts, so I focused on music and perception for my drabble, inspired by my own excitement whenever I get to see a band or play live. I always come out feeling more energized and ready to create things, so I thought I would give capturing some of that in writing a go. Creativity is a major source of joy and inspiration in general for me, whether it be consuming and engaging with others' creations or working on my own, but the essence of it feels very hard to capture without more space for context. Purple in general is a color I like, and have a wide range of associations with, varying in part with the shade in question. I consider purple to be a sort of rich, royal color, usually if its deep and a bit saturated. Purple is also commonly used in fiction to portray 'darkness' and 'shadow' related themes or magics (for example, the Shadow Medallion in Ocarina of Time is purple), so that's a fun association. Shades of lilac and lavender are more dreamy and spiritual to me, and have a majestic feel that be relaxing or energetic based on context. All in all, it's a fun and versatile color, and one I keep making many of my oc's wear. xD
The prompt also asks what we each might be able to offer others as gifts. I can certainly create drabbles and short stories (50-400 words for 'drabbles' and 500-2,000 words for short stories) for anyone who wants a specific theme or concept or character dynamic explored! There are certain things I wouldn't be comfortable writing (mainly nsfw content, excess sensuality, and gratuitous violence; regular violence is fine though lol), but otherwise I'm pretty willing to work with whatever ideas a requester might have. So drop me a comment or pm if you're interested! (Drabbles only would take me a day or two to write, short stories could take a few weeks up to a month)
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Sunshine Challenge - Indigo
Inky pools of water stretched all around, reflecting the gleam of starlight and softly wandering clouds. I reach my hand out to the crystals growing about, and they alight at my touch, shimmering shades of violet. Around me, the cosmos; I can feel its energies like the ringing of bells, weave them about as I wish. Echoing up from the depths of the pool come a million cries, reverberations of every human dream. Walking deftly across the water, I move my mind towards the swarms beneath, calming them each with flicker of light, a feeling of wakefulness. The clouds move over the sky, dimming the reflective surface. Each scream fades, and the crystals glow just a bit more.
Indigo was an interesting color to write for since all of its themes were ones I loved to include in my stories, but putting that into single-paragraph format felt like a struggle. I'm far more used to writing - and reading - big stories revolving around destiny and magic and experience, so it was pretty fun to try and make that a bit more tiny-sized. Being a fantasy fan I of course saw 'magic' and 'dreams' and thought of various mages, dream weavers, and dream walkers in fiction (specifically dream walkers were common in some of CLAMP's works, such as Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle and xxxHolic, in which Tomoyo has such a power - and she does have sort of indigo-like highlights to her hair in some pictures!). The color indigo itself isn't one I usually think of very often, so my associations with just that are more limited, but as it's connected to blue and purple and I think of it in a similar light - kind of dreamy and magical, or at least relaxing/ponderous. Elegance and intuition I thought were fitting themes, to me they fit really well with the mage-like and spirit vibes of the color, so while they didn't quite make it into the drabble overtly I hoped to kind of give off that impression a bit. Indigo's themes are extremely atmospheric (dark indigo does make me think of the night sky too), so it's always fun to play around with those in storytelling.
Indigo was an interesting color to write for since all of its themes were ones I loved to include in my stories, but putting that into single-paragraph format felt like a struggle. I'm far more used to writing - and reading - big stories revolving around destiny and magic and experience, so it was pretty fun to try and make that a bit more tiny-sized. Being a fantasy fan I of course saw 'magic' and 'dreams' and thought of various mages, dream weavers, and dream walkers in fiction (specifically dream walkers were common in some of CLAMP's works, such as Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle and xxxHolic, in which Tomoyo has such a power - and she does have sort of indigo-like highlights to her hair in some pictures!). The color indigo itself isn't one I usually think of very often, so my associations with just that are more limited, but as it's connected to blue and purple and I think of it in a similar light - kind of dreamy and magical, or at least relaxing/ponderous. Elegance and intuition I thought were fitting themes, to me they fit really well with the mage-like and spirit vibes of the color, so while they didn't quite make it into the drabble overtly I hoped to kind of give off that impression a bit. Indigo's themes are extremely atmospheric (dark indigo does make me think of the night sky too), so it's always fun to play around with those in storytelling.
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Crown of Thunder Book Review
Crown of Thunder, written by Tochi Onyebuchi, is the sequel to the book Beasts Made of Night, which I read quite a while ago. Long enough ago that, hopping back in, some of the details were definitely fuzzy, and even though the important ones came back I'm sure my experience with the book was in some way influenced by the gap of time between my reading it and the first one.
Generally speaking, it was a pretty fun read. It had a very immersive, quick writing style that made it easy to feel invested in. The world building was a strength in the first book, and this one also continues to have interesting lore and fantastical elements. The characters were mostly likeable, though our protagonist Taj had moments where I kinda thought he was lame and annoying lol. He had moments when I liked him too though! I don't recall perfectly but that's probably how I felt about him in book 1 as well. I thought most of the other characters were pretty neat, so I didn't mind spending time with them, even if none of them quite reached any kind of 'fave' territory.
One thing I thought was interesting about this book and series is that it is part action story. There were quite a lot of fight scenes, and they were fairly detailed, and on one hand I found them fun (because I mean, I like action), but despite them being written in entirely easy to follow terms I still occasionally got confused in my mental image of what was happening. Not in any significant way, but still. Aside from those moments though I thought the frequent action was pretty entertaining. In particular I quite liked the scenes where magic was used, and that magic in this world is done through algebraic proofs. It made Aliya, our resident mage/math nerd, a fun character and a nice twist on the spell caster archetype (which is usually mostly or all spiritual).
We got to learn more about Arzu in this book too, seeing the land of her heritage and meeting her childhood best friend/crush, Juba, and I thought those two were nice together. Not that...they actually got to stay together due to the rules of their tribe (it wasn't because they were both girls, but because of the different roles they fulfilled in their society), which was a bit of a bummer especially since Taj and Aliya got to be together which was whatever I guess. Not bad, but I wasn't all that invested in it. Actually getting to have some of the book from Arzu's perspective would have been very cool, but alas.
There were a few themes in the book that I thought were a bit neglected, and some I just wasn't entirely sure if I fully agreed with or not, but nothing drastic enough to make me feel any anger at the book or anything like that. For example, it was brought up that even though aki were forced to eat the removed sins from rich people, that didn't actually say anything about if the person the sin came from felt less guilty as a result. I thought it was a good point and an interesting nuance to the way things worked, but it didn't really come up all that much later. The closest we got was the whole 'forgiving a person's sins is what brings Balance' thing which...on paper is nice, and it allowed for some pretty cool magic, but I thought it also started to get a little...preachy? In certain moments. Especially since the only group that was against this was a bunch of irritating, violent hooligans than I hated (it was so baffling to me how Taj ever thought there was anything appealing to their way of life, if anything it just made me think Taj must have been a lot more annoying in the first book than I remembered).
I did like at the end at least Taj didn't have to forgive the evil queen who had hunted him and slaughtered his city and friends, and someone else was able to eat the sins and remove the threat, but that whole thing was also a bit underdeveloped. Unless I just forgot details from book 2, Queen Karima was totally under-developed and mostly just detestable, and it isn't actually said what...happens to her in the end? She was there, did they arrest her? Kill her? Did they have any kind of plan for a new government once the monarchy was overthrown? I'm not sure if there's supposed to be a third book or not, if there is then not explaining everything in book 2 is fine, but if not then I stand by my feeling that the book's ending was good, but incomplete feeling.
I gave the book 3/5 stars on Goodreads, and I think that's a fair portrayal of my feelings for the book. It was fun to read, and had some definite strengths, but there were a few weaknesses and never fully grabbed my full excitement, even if I did find it immersive. It was a worthwhile read though, and if a third book did come out, I would want to read it and see what happened next.
Generally speaking, it was a pretty fun read. It had a very immersive, quick writing style that made it easy to feel invested in. The world building was a strength in the first book, and this one also continues to have interesting lore and fantastical elements. The characters were mostly likeable, though our protagonist Taj had moments where I kinda thought he was lame and annoying lol. He had moments when I liked him too though! I don't recall perfectly but that's probably how I felt about him in book 1 as well. I thought most of the other characters were pretty neat, so I didn't mind spending time with them, even if none of them quite reached any kind of 'fave' territory.
One thing I thought was interesting about this book and series is that it is part action story. There were quite a lot of fight scenes, and they were fairly detailed, and on one hand I found them fun (because I mean, I like action), but despite them being written in entirely easy to follow terms I still occasionally got confused in my mental image of what was happening. Not in any significant way, but still. Aside from those moments though I thought the frequent action was pretty entertaining. In particular I quite liked the scenes where magic was used, and that magic in this world is done through algebraic proofs. It made Aliya, our resident mage/math nerd, a fun character and a nice twist on the spell caster archetype (which is usually mostly or all spiritual).
We got to learn more about Arzu in this book too, seeing the land of her heritage and meeting her childhood best friend/crush, Juba, and I thought those two were nice together. Not that...they actually got to stay together due to the rules of their tribe (it wasn't because they were both girls, but because of the different roles they fulfilled in their society), which was a bit of a bummer especially since Taj and Aliya got to be together which was whatever I guess. Not bad, but I wasn't all that invested in it. Actually getting to have some of the book from Arzu's perspective would have been very cool, but alas.
There were a few themes in the book that I thought were a bit neglected, and some I just wasn't entirely sure if I fully agreed with or not, but nothing drastic enough to make me feel any anger at the book or anything like that. For example, it was brought up that even though aki were forced to eat the removed sins from rich people, that didn't actually say anything about if the person the sin came from felt less guilty as a result. I thought it was a good point and an interesting nuance to the way things worked, but it didn't really come up all that much later. The closest we got was the whole 'forgiving a person's sins is what brings Balance' thing which...on paper is nice, and it allowed for some pretty cool magic, but I thought it also started to get a little...preachy? In certain moments. Especially since the only group that was against this was a bunch of irritating, violent hooligans than I hated (it was so baffling to me how Taj ever thought there was anything appealing to their way of life, if anything it just made me think Taj must have been a lot more annoying in the first book than I remembered).
I did like at the end at least Taj didn't have to forgive the evil queen who had hunted him and slaughtered his city and friends, and someone else was able to eat the sins and remove the threat, but that whole thing was also a bit underdeveloped. Unless I just forgot details from book 2, Queen Karima was totally under-developed and mostly just detestable, and it isn't actually said what...happens to her in the end? She was there, did they arrest her? Kill her? Did they have any kind of plan for a new government once the monarchy was overthrown? I'm not sure if there's supposed to be a third book or not, if there is then not explaining everything in book 2 is fine, but if not then I stand by my feeling that the book's ending was good, but incomplete feeling.
I gave the book 3/5 stars on Goodreads, and I think that's a fair portrayal of my feelings for the book. It was fun to read, and had some definite strengths, but there were a few weaknesses and never fully grabbed my full excitement, even if I did find it immersive. It was a worthwhile read though, and if a third book did come out, I would want to read it and see what happened next.
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Sunshine Challenge - Blue
Droplets of rain pour down from the sky, each one carrying a bit of cold, a bit of sorrow. They fall so steadily that the individual tapping of the drops hitting the pavement begin to meld into a single synchronous sound. All else is quiet. Street lamps softly illuminate the night, creating a tiny windows through which to see the twinkling fragments. The icy sorrows hold shape in the air as they cascade down, alone, then shatter into a growing collective on the ground. They flow together, strengthening each other, until it's enough to drown in. In their number, in their strength, even in their sorrow, there is a gentleness. A caring thing to drown in. An easy thing, to stare endlessly at the navy sky, and the little pockets of light where the gentle sorrows shine.
So, I don't 100% know what this one is about, but it's what happened when I tried to capture the vibe of blueness. Blue can be a sad color and a joyous one both, and it can be ponderous and serene as well as more energetic and chaotic. Personally, I find the shade of blue strongly affects what associations come immediately to mind. A saturated sky blue is energetic and positive, a pale, light blue very soft and dreamy, a deep blue reminds me most of the ocean, navy blue is more majestic and makes me think a tiny bit of the stars. I associate blue with ice and the cold, as well as introspection and serenity. Oh, and there is also 'the blues', as in the music style! Not in that style at all, but a song that came to mind was of course Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65, for meme reasons. Blue also makes me think of the intelligence and wisdom stats in Dungeons and Dragons, which is almost entirely because I already associated blue with mana in the Diablo series - the very blue spiritual force that fuels your magic spells. (I always need more mana lol)
So, I don't 100% know what this one is about, but it's what happened when I tried to capture the vibe of blueness. Blue can be a sad color and a joyous one both, and it can be ponderous and serene as well as more energetic and chaotic. Personally, I find the shade of blue strongly affects what associations come immediately to mind. A saturated sky blue is energetic and positive, a pale, light blue very soft and dreamy, a deep blue reminds me most of the ocean, navy blue is more majestic and makes me think a tiny bit of the stars. I associate blue with ice and the cold, as well as introspection and serenity. Oh, and there is also 'the blues', as in the music style! Not in that style at all, but a song that came to mind was of course Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65, for meme reasons. Blue also makes me think of the intelligence and wisdom stats in Dungeons and Dragons, which is almost entirely because I already associated blue with mana in the Diablo series - the very blue spiritual force that fuels your magic spells. (I always need more mana lol)
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The Unavowed Playthrough Commentary - 2
Since my last post, I have finished my second mission and started the third! I did it all in one go quite late at night, so let's see how many details I can remember. xD
During my next meeting with The Crew, we realized my demon is a lot smarter than most demons and must have some sort of real plan and motivation for it to be doing stuff as highly specific as forming life-eating cults. We were told a few more locations where Weird Stuff was happening, one of them being my old home in Staten Island. Figuring Lumierre Note (my fella) would want to avoid that place, I went to the Bronx first. I liked the police dude who was just guarding the entrance to the subway. He was the first guy I saw there and he was very pleasant, albeit pretty irrelevant plot wise. Lumierre had another vision where my demon had once again been giving extremely shady advice to a distressed person. By asking around, we learn the Weird Stuff is centered around a certain home, so we head on over. The house was the center of the second mission, and so solving everything involved quite a few puzzles. At first there was someone writing on the window telling me to break it and hurry inside. I had picked up a brick, so I tried tossing it. Alas, Lumierre is weak. Couldn't even get it all the way up to the second floor, let alone with enough force to shatter it. I knew quite quickly that Mandana needed to throw it, but for a while I couldn't figure our for the life of me how to give the brick to her, so I wandered around for a bit wondering if I had missed some other clue. I hadn't, and eventually I figured out how to give her the brick and she tossed it Real Good.
Oh, but one tragedy along the way was that when I first walked into the area with the house, Eli and Mandana started conversing like usual but I ACCIDENTALLY CUT THEM OFF! D: I always want to hear everything they have to say about an area. But I saw I could try to open a garage with my bare hands and got excited and clicked right away, making them scold me for trying to open a garage door with my bare hands. xD I did enjoy that. But then they didn't pick up their conversation and I was distraught! Once I don't have to worry about spoilers I may have to look up what they say about the place...
Anyways, the inside of the house was disheveled and spooky, and the invisible entity writing turned out to be a spirit guide! There was a Bestower in the house! I hadn't thought we'd meet one since Kalash and everyone else said we, the Unavowed, didn't deal with mundane death. But we did meet one and his name is Logan, and his spirit guide is a ghost of a ten year old called KayKay. They are both quite fun but I especially liked Logan very quickly. He seemed so cool! And he was holding off three ghosts of the house that were turning angry and evil - becoming poltergeists (I really love that Eli calls it going geist lol). I had to find out the names of the ghosts for him to be able to calm them down. Some clues I found quickly, and some took me a lot of wandering around and rethinking things, but I was able to find the objects in between more visions telling me some of what went down. I really just am enjoying getting to talk to the companions after every major cutscene to see how they're thinking - Eli really doesn't like ghosts or this ghosty house, and Mandana has a bad feeling about it too. Logan just wants a break.
Turned out demon me magically persuaded this college girl who hated the high couple that were her landlords/roommates to kill the woman's dog, and then made the woman kill the college girl, and then had the couple kill each other (after making the husband cheat on his wife with it). I was amused by the very shocked reactions from Eli and Logan at the picture of the demon and the husband together, while Mandana was unphased. Actually Logan was weirded out by every object I brought him, but they worked!
So I got more knowledge and Logan put the ghosts to rest. And! AND! LOGAN JOINED US! I really didn't think he would since he was a bestower, but he did! I was happy because I didn't really want him to leave the game lol. Kalash was a tiny bit grumpy but that's okay since he rolled with it.
As for for mission 3 so far, I finally braved myself and returned to Staten Island. There I had a vision where my demon summoned a mer-man warrior to form a deal, because of course I did that. Then there's a dead body being investigated by the police, and my old partner/mentor that I shot to death when I was first possessed turned out to be alive! But everyone thinks she has kind of lost it, even if she's still on duty. Haven't learned much more yet though, so we'll see how that goes!
During my next meeting with The Crew, we realized my demon is a lot smarter than most demons and must have some sort of real plan and motivation for it to be doing stuff as highly specific as forming life-eating cults. We were told a few more locations where Weird Stuff was happening, one of them being my old home in Staten Island. Figuring Lumierre Note (my fella) would want to avoid that place, I went to the Bronx first. I liked the police dude who was just guarding the entrance to the subway. He was the first guy I saw there and he was very pleasant, albeit pretty irrelevant plot wise. Lumierre had another vision where my demon had once again been giving extremely shady advice to a distressed person. By asking around, we learn the Weird Stuff is centered around a certain home, so we head on over. The house was the center of the second mission, and so solving everything involved quite a few puzzles. At first there was someone writing on the window telling me to break it and hurry inside. I had picked up a brick, so I tried tossing it. Alas, Lumierre is weak. Couldn't even get it all the way up to the second floor, let alone with enough force to shatter it. I knew quite quickly that Mandana needed to throw it, but for a while I couldn't figure our for the life of me how to give the brick to her, so I wandered around for a bit wondering if I had missed some other clue. I hadn't, and eventually I figured out how to give her the brick and she tossed it Real Good.
Oh, but one tragedy along the way was that when I first walked into the area with the house, Eli and Mandana started conversing like usual but I ACCIDENTALLY CUT THEM OFF! D: I always want to hear everything they have to say about an area. But I saw I could try to open a garage with my bare hands and got excited and clicked right away, making them scold me for trying to open a garage door with my bare hands. xD I did enjoy that. But then they didn't pick up their conversation and I was distraught! Once I don't have to worry about spoilers I may have to look up what they say about the place...
Anyways, the inside of the house was disheveled and spooky, and the invisible entity writing turned out to be a spirit guide! There was a Bestower in the house! I hadn't thought we'd meet one since Kalash and everyone else said we, the Unavowed, didn't deal with mundane death. But we did meet one and his name is Logan, and his spirit guide is a ghost of a ten year old called KayKay. They are both quite fun but I especially liked Logan very quickly. He seemed so cool! And he was holding off three ghosts of the house that were turning angry and evil - becoming poltergeists (I really love that Eli calls it going geist lol). I had to find out the names of the ghosts for him to be able to calm them down. Some clues I found quickly, and some took me a lot of wandering around and rethinking things, but I was able to find the objects in between more visions telling me some of what went down. I really just am enjoying getting to talk to the companions after every major cutscene to see how they're thinking - Eli really doesn't like ghosts or this ghosty house, and Mandana has a bad feeling about it too. Logan just wants a break.
Turned out demon me magically persuaded this college girl who hated the high couple that were her landlords/roommates to kill the woman's dog, and then made the woman kill the college girl, and then had the couple kill each other (after making the husband cheat on his wife with it). I was amused by the very shocked reactions from Eli and Logan at the picture of the demon and the husband together, while Mandana was unphased. Actually Logan was weirded out by every object I brought him, but they worked!
So I got more knowledge and Logan put the ghosts to rest. And! AND! LOGAN JOINED US! I really didn't think he would since he was a bestower, but he did! I was happy because I didn't really want him to leave the game lol. Kalash was a tiny bit grumpy but that's okay since he rolled with it.
As for for mission 3 so far, I finally braved myself and returned to Staten Island. There I had a vision where my demon summoned a mer-man warrior to form a deal, because of course I did that. Then there's a dead body being investigated by the police, and my old partner/mentor that I shot to death when I was first possessed turned out to be alive! But everyone thinks she has kind of lost it, even if she's still on duty. Haven't learned much more yet though, so we'll see how that goes!
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Sunshine Challenge - Green
When the darkness first started to ebb, I had trouble remembering where I was or why it was so cold. But then the first ray of sunlight cut through the weeds that were peeling off my body, and it all came back. Any number of centuries should have passed by now. The air was heavy with the scent of various flowers, soil, and leaves, alerting me to the fact I was in a garden before my eyes adjusted to the light. Tall trees loomed above me, and flowering shrubs and plants dotted the field of grass that had only been an expanse of dirt, rocks, and saplings last I saw it. At least the high reaching rocks were still there. Taking my first steps in the warm air, I felt for the first time a sense of wonder and curiosity, though not unhindered by trepidation. I went forth to see if humanity had salvaged anything else after all.
At first I found the themes for green to be really difficult to come up with a short piece for, even though they were all themes I liked and appreciated elsewhere, until I connected 'awakening' with cryogenic sleep. Science fiction to the rescue! xD Usually I associate green with vitality and life, probably because of the plants/nature vibes (and also because health in video games is sometimes called vitality and is often green if not read), and also with vegetables. Though I am also familiar with the phrase 'green with envy', which is of course less positive (though I must also bring up, on the fandom side of things, the homonculus Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist has some kind of green on them in both iterations of the story). Someone looking green also usually means they are sick/nauseous, which is also a lot less fun. So I just left those out of my drabble lol. I forget though that green is also associated with luck, since for some reason I want to think of gold for luck? But given the shared association with money that makes sense. Similarly there are also several gemstones that are green, of course the emerald, but also jade and peridot come to mind. Some time I may have to look into if there's much overlap between gemstone associations and color associations!
EDIT: Books! A few books that are green: Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery, The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and Turnabout by Margaret Peterson Haddix. The first two prominently feature nature and growth, as they are coming of age stories, while the third is a sci-fi novel dealing with reverse aging in pursuit of immortality (which, is sort of twist on green themes?).
At first I found the themes for green to be really difficult to come up with a short piece for, even though they were all themes I liked and appreciated elsewhere, until I connected 'awakening' with cryogenic sleep. Science fiction to the rescue! xD Usually I associate green with vitality and life, probably because of the plants/nature vibes (and also because health in video games is sometimes called vitality and is often green if not read), and also with vegetables. Though I am also familiar with the phrase 'green with envy', which is of course less positive (though I must also bring up, on the fandom side of things, the homonculus Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist has some kind of green on them in both iterations of the story). Someone looking green also usually means they are sick/nauseous, which is also a lot less fun. So I just left those out of my drabble lol. I forget though that green is also associated with luck, since for some reason I want to think of gold for luck? But given the shared association with money that makes sense. Similarly there are also several gemstones that are green, of course the emerald, but also jade and peridot come to mind. Some time I may have to look into if there's much overlap between gemstone associations and color associations!
EDIT: Books! A few books that are green: Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery, The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and Turnabout by Margaret Peterson Haddix. The first two prominently feature nature and growth, as they are coming of age stories, while the third is a sci-fi novel dealing with reverse aging in pursuit of immortality (which, is sort of twist on green themes?).