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arias_hollowSummary: Vanitas dwells on what the events of Gevaudan mean for him.
Rating: General Audiences
Written for the 2019 Anniversary Event.
Rating: General Audiences
Written for the 2019 Anniversary Event.
**********
Vanitas sat upon the roof of the hotel, watching the sun rise. A week had passed since the events of Gevaudan, and he had woken up early, feeling somber and introspective. Things had turned out both much better and much worse than he had anticipated when he first took the job. He had saved Chloe and Jean-Jacques, sure, but he had been forced to use the power of his mark of possession, and Noe had lost a hand. Really, it was a near thing that Noe hadn't been killed altogether, and that was a thought he tried not to dwell on too much.
He wasn't supposed to care about anyone, not deeply, not genuinely. He had sworn himself off such things after seeing where they lead last time. And yet here he had landed himself, caring about both Noe and Jeanne far more than he had signed up for. It was a ridiculous situation to be in; it's not like, even were real relationships with them possible, that he had much time left to put into them. He'd only end up hurting them as much as himself, and more than likely their goals would stop being aligned before his time was up and then he'd be alone again. It was stupid to get so involved in the first place. And yet, here he was.
Perhaps it was time for some new vows. Simpler ones. He hated not being able to keep a promise, so he couldn't just swear this or that to himself. He would take into account his most recent mistakes too, he was close to the mark the first time. He just needed to make some adjustments.
He looked at the Book of Vanitas. This, he knew he could keep doing as long as he was alive, as long as he was himself. He would save every vampire he could or die trying. He would still have his vengeance, it was all he could do to leave something of himself behind. That was, first and foremost, the most important thing to him.
But there would have to be room for a second most important thing. A second vow. He glanced at the window, where he knew Noe was still sleeping inside. He couldn't exactly pretend he didn't care anymore. He slipped on that slope, stepped on that crack, but he could still work around it. He would make sure to not get so involved in their lives that they wouldn't have a hard time moving on should they part on good terms, but involved enough that should they part on bad terms, he can protect himself and make sure he's not the only one miserable for it. And... as long as they were allies, anyways, he would give his all to protect them. They were on the same side after all, so maybe it was okay to act like 'friends' for now. But he wouldn't forget his true purpose, even if he had to make some allowances for keeping these few people safe. He'd play it smart, surely, if done that way... he could manage.
Clutching his book tightly, he decided this would be it for the time left to him. This he would swear to himself anew. And this promise was one he was determined to keep. Or die trying.
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Date: 2019-12-31 09:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-01-04 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-02-10 08:14 am (UTC)